What was he thinking?
by Mrstrentreznor
Summary: AU: Paul's POV of "What was she doing?" - a scary glimpse inside the mind of Paul; warning: contains teen sex, drinking and foul foul language - contains SPOILERS for WWSD - so read that one FIRST!
1. Sunshine and lollypops

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter1: sunshine and lollypops**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: I apologise in advance for Paul's sick, sick mind…**

What a complete waste of yet _another_ afternoon. Sam is insisting that we follow around the sainted, soon-to-be-alpha wolf, Jacob Black, with his perfect freaking family and his pretty, pretty sisters. Pity **they** are not around. And here he is, wasting yet another afternoon desperately trying to get into the pants of that mousy little brunette; what's her name?

Jeez, you think the amount of bonfires Jacob attends that he would actually be smart enough to work out that the wolves of our sainted freaking history actually exist? Shows how much he knows. Doesn't even notice when three guys age almost ten years overnight and grow a good six inches. Yeah, all kinds of observant is little Jacob Black. Not so little these days, maybe Sam is right; he must be getting close. Billy says he is getting warmer too. Nearly hot enough to fry an egg on. If he wasn't so fucking happy all the time he might have phased; weird. How can anybody be that fucking happy considering they have never even got their rocks off. I mean what does he have to be happy about? Never seen him with any other girl or heard of him dating. Half the rez girls would offer to pop the cherry of Jacob Pretty Black. Lucky, they settle for me instead.

Swan; that's it, Bella Swan – Charlie's kid. Haven't seen as much of the Sheriff since the 'rents took off.

What will I do tonight? Wonder if I can get up to Port Angeles later and see what I can pick up in that bar; I could do with a long hard fuck and a full stomach, maybe not in that order…Maybe catch up with that blond; damn what was her name? Who cares about her name when she can suck dick like…

_S: Enough, Paul! You are supposed to be watching._

_P: Jeez, Sam, nothing is happening. Just little sunshine boy and the leech lover playing happily together in the garage._

_S: This is serious, Paul. Do your job properly._

_P: Yeah yeah; watch sunshine boy and the leech lover, I know. So do you reckon she really did?_

_S: Did what?_

_P: Fuck the leech? I mean that's gotta hurt right? Like sticking your hand in the freezer or something. Man that would be some freezer burn. Maybe his come would be like little ice cubes?_

_S: what?_

_P: Also how does he even get an erection? They are like stone, you can't inflate a stone dick? It would just snap off. And what does it fill with; they don't have any blood?_

_S: Honestly I give up. _

Well that worked; made Sam phase out. Snort.

Honestly what does Jake see in that girl? She's been a freaking zombie since the leech dumped her sorry ass in the woods and we all had to be out searching for her. Missed a hook up with one hot cougar because Sam insisted we help find her. What the fuck for? The girl hangs with vamps, she's half dead in my book anyway. Whole dead soon enough when she makes it onto their menu. Vegie vamps my ass. She must look like a walking snack bar to them.

Weird girl; I mean what the fuck? Vampire boyfriend? And then they all just fuck off and leave her. Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

Oh, shit, I wasn't paying attention and she walked close to the forest where I'm hiding. Hey she's not so bad looking; big brown eyes; brown like milk chocolate; …yum. Fuck what am I doing? I'm inching forwards. Shit; stay stupid dog, stay.

What the fuck is that? I feel like I am being pulled towards her; like she's the sun and she's pulling me into her orbit… I feel all warm inside…oh, no…all flappy …oh, no…wow, she's beautiful…fuck…no way.

No, no, no, don't move another step – rustling in the bush like a fucking epileptic. She'll see you and Sam will beat your sorry ass. Oh, no, she's walking away.

I have got to get out of here. Sam's going to beat my ass anyway. But I think I want to stay right here close to_ her._

Fuck, I am sooo fucked.

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I sit at Sam's table with a half eaten sandwich in front of me. Sam looks concerned.

"Jeez, Paul," notes Sam, "if you've lost your appetite; you _are _seriously off your game." He shakes his head. "So tell me what happened again."

"Well it was like she was suddenly the centre of my universe. Like everything in me was linked to her somehow. All I wanted to do was get closer to her; look after her you know. Fucking weird. I felt all warm and fucking gooey inside."

"Hey, watch the language, Emily's home you know." Sam looks thoughtful. "I hate to say it, but it sounds like you imprinted."

"No fucking way!" I leap to my feet and look for the closest thing to break. I throw the kitchen chair into the wall

Sam sighs; I know he has re-glued these chairs a dozen times because I keep doing that to them.

"Sit down, Paul, enough with the hissy fit."

I sit like a good dog and when I get myself calmed down again Sam asks, "What I want to know is why this hasn't happened before? I mean you've been watching them for weeks."

"No, I was watching Jake; never even freaking looked in her face before today." I drop my head into my hands. "She has such a pretty face."

Sam snorts. "Yep, sounds like imprinting to me."

We sit there for a couple of minutes.

"So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do? Tell the fucking leech lover that I want to be her pet little wolfie? No way, man. And what is this imprinting bullshit anyway? There is no way I am doing any of this, I will fight it. How could Swan be my perfect partner? Good one, Taha Aki." I pause in my rant for a second, "And to imprint on the future alphas favourite girl; that's all kinds of fucked. "

Sam and I look at each other. "Fuck…Jacob. He's going to flip out."

We sit in silence again.

"I hate imprinting; I hate how it takes away your choices; how it fucks up everyone's life. You know it damn near killed Leah; we are still picking up the pieces. I just can't see how it can make me a better wolf to have Bella leech fucker Swan as my life partner. You of all people know Sam. I mean no offence, but how does Emily being the centre of your universe make you a better leader? 'I can't go and fight vampires because I have to hold my girl's hand?' What the fuck is that about? At least the alpha should be immune to this lovey dovey crap."

"The Alpha; that's it," I say "You have to give me an alpha order." Sam looks sceptical. "I won't talk about it, or approach her, I won't even think about it while I'm phased. I don't want anyone to know especially Jake... or _her_." I put an odd emphasis on the word 'her'.

"You won't be able to change your behaviour." says Sam "That would be really obvious if you…how can I say it…"

I laugh, "If I stopped being the rez man-whore?" I sound bitter. "Hey, no problem; I'm not giving up my pieces of tail."

We sit silently for a minute or so.

"We will have to be really clear on the wording of the order. I'll write it out to make sure we covered everything. I'll get a pen and paper. You want another cup of tea?" Sam stood looking at me.

"My life is fucked up." I say and smack my head on the table.

"Hey, watch the table." Says Sam. "Em will make me refinish it again."

"One lucky thing for you; the alpha has a better mind lock so I am not going to blow your secret for you." He snorts. "You can just fuck it all up by yourself."

FF_2154210_ - 29/06/2010 06:06:00 PM


	2. Heart attack

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter2: heart attack**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

A couple of nights later I am in a bar in Port Angeles. I can only afford to buy one beer so I am nursing it and waiting for some nice lady to buy me another one. Best thing about this werewolf shit? No-one ever asks you for ID; I mean fuck, I look 25 right? And what bouncer in their right mind is going to pick a fight with me? I cannot afford to get drunk tonight; takes at least three bottles of tequila drunk in quick succession to get there. So I wait.

But I am not here for the drinks; I am here for the babes and hopefully a home cooked meal. And from that prickling sensation on the back of my neck, I would say that one is watching me now. Quick glance around, oh yeah, excellent, it is the blond. _Fuck, what is her name? June? Janet? _

Really must try to remember their names. If only it was Bella. _Shut the fuck up right now loser._ Oh, she's coming over.

"Hey, big boy. Can I buy you a beer?" she croons at me.

"Sure; on one condition," I say leering back at her. I lean in close and whisper in her ear. "You let me go home with you and fuck you until you can't see straight."

She shivers. "Well, let's skip the drink and go right now," she says as she grabs my hand and hauls me to my feet. I suck down the last of my drink and follow her eagerly.

**2 hours later**

"God; are you okay?" She holds the sheet up to her chest and looks at me with concern. "You're a bit young to have a heart attack. Was it something you ate? Are you anaphylactic?"

I am lying flat on my back gasping like a fucking fish out of water. I feel like there is a tight band right around my chest. "This is fucking ridiculous!" I grunt through gritted teeth. "Just give me a minute," I beg June, Janet, _whatever her freaking name is._

"Could you get me a glass of water?" I whine. _Man up Waggener; you can DO this. Fuck this stupid imprint bullshit._ I pull myself up and lean against the headboard, I can do this. I do not follow the weird ass orders of super wolf gods or powers-that-be or what the fuck ever. I want some of that blond ass in front of me. **Now**.

She comes back in the room with a glass of water. I drink it down in one gulp and shake my head. "Right!" I exclaim. Let's do this.

"All better?" she asks.

"Not quite," I say "I seem to have lost my hard-on." I pout.

"Oh, honey," she croons, "let me take care of that. I'll kiss it better for you." I smile as she lowers her head towards my groin.

"Oh, fuck yeah; that feels much better already."

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"Paul you are losing it every two or three days!" Sam shouts at me. "Today you damn near phased in front of Quil and Jacob because smart ass Quil makes some stupid comment. You nearly blew the pack secret wide open." He pauses, "Quil **always** makes stupid comments; it's what he does." Sam is so exasperated. He makes some frustrated noise and throws himself onto the lounge. I am sitting in a lounge chair with my head in my hands.

There was silence for a minute.

"Are you okay?" Asks Sam. I can't answer him.

"**Paul?"**

"I'm good." I haven't lifted my head.

"So what are you going to do for your birthday?" asks Sam. "Seventeen right?"

I snort, "Yeah – might go up to Port Angeles and get laid."

Sam shrugs "Yeah; you do that."

I rise to my feet and look at Sam and say, "I had better get going. I'll be back for patrol tomorrow okay?"

"Sure," he watches me leave then shakes his head and spoke aloud to himself, "What the fuck would make today different from any other day?"

"Sam Uley!"

"Sorry, Em."

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Just to make my life easier, now I have whiny fuckwit Embry Call in my head. Moping for his 'lost' friends. Poor little Jakey and Quilly. I just think about whatever hot piece of ass I got last night to get him out of my head; if that works, I swear he and his little buddies are all virgins anyway. Might teach them a thing or two.

And then Sam orders me to phase and to follow Jake and Bertha or whatever her name is out to watch them bike ride. _You know what her name is. _

Seriously that girl is so klutzy and Black is certifiably insane if he thinks he can teach her to ride a motorcycle. Oops, I can hear a bike revving, I'm late. I'm hiding in the forest in wolf form so they can't see me.

Fuck is that her? She's going to kill herself! I can't watch! Oh, jeez she is never going to make the corner. Brake brake! Fuck she's come off! I **can't** go over there!

Oh…she's bleeding. Fuck I just ran around in a goddamn circle! Black, you moron. What were you thinking?

I can't go over there; I can't!

I can smell her blood but I can't help her. If I go over there I will blow this whole thing sky high. Fuck, I just ran around in a circle _again_...that smell...she's hurt...I can't touch her; I can't help her.

I am just going to lie down and whimper here for a minute.

Take her to the hospital, please Jake. Oh he's touching her...he shouldn't be touching her. _He'll look after her._

That's it! I can't stand any more, I am getting out of here.

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Better and better. Now Black has finally phased. At least I don't have to follow his sorry ass around anymore, but now I have his fucking sunny world of unicorns and confetti in my goddamn head.

And _endless_ fucking visions of Bertha surrounded by rainbows. Honestly I think I am going to barf.

One good thing for me is that I can spy on her now without actually spying on her, you know? She is all Jake has in his head, so that makes it pretty easy for me to be a peeping Paul. She is kind of pretty with her big brown eyes and she's not really curvy, but she's curvy in all the right places... holy fuck; listen to me. I am getting as obsessed with her as poor old Jakey.

Get a grip, Black. If she hasn't fucked you by now, do you really think she is going to? She dated a fucking vampire and you don't even make it onto her dating radar!

The leech lover...yeah what if the Cullens came back? Would she go back to them? She can't; she's my imprint. _Yeah but she doesn't know that! You are so busy hiding it from her. _

Fuck me, now I am arguing with myself. Cliff diving? What the...? He had better **not **take her cliff diving, if she gets hurt...fuck...what** if **she gets hurt? _Jake will look after her. _I'd lose her forever..._forever_...now that just doesn't bear thinking about.

Poor little virgin Black. All he gets from her are hugs. Lots of _friendly hugs._ Maybe your sunny world is not so shiny now huh?

_Not that she notices __**me **__either._

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_P: What the hell? A Rastafarian vampire? Seriously? What is he like when he's smoking joints?_

_S: Shut up Paul._

_P: Sam, that is not a veggie vamp. He's got red eyes, Sam!_

_S: Shut up, Paul, I can't hear what she is saying to him. They are being pretty chatty; maybe he is a friend? He was at the Cullen place when we picked up his trail._

_P: I don't think so. We should take him down now!_

_J: Yeah she looks nervous._

_S: Shut up, Jake! I can't hear._

_P: Hell no, Sam; he just called her mouth-watering and who the fuck is Victoria? _(keep it under control you idiot, they can all hear you, you will give yourself away)

_**S: Paul!**__ Yeah; alright. Slowly move into the meadow. She'll have time to tell us if he's a friendly. We don't want to break the treaty._

_P: Fuck the treaty!_

_**S: Paul!**_

I am feet away from her and I can hear her heart beating like a tiny bird's. Don't look at her. Stare at the evil vampire; yeah **you** are going to die fucker. Don't think about her. Fuck, Black is in the way; always in the way. _Stop that! You can't think that!_


	3. Slapdown

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter3: slap down**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

**Problem: there is no Paul slap in the books – yeah I had forgotten that too – blamed SM for being silly – she breaks her hand hitting Jake, but not Paul what the? - Ooh I digress - it was a movie invention – but I wrote the slap into the first story – so do we go with the slap version of events? Why not? Maybe we could all slap him?**

**okay so the book version it is, with extra slap - the dialogue is from the book and they met where they rode the bikes, not in Jake's yard - so remove from your minds the scene where Jake runs out of the house and phases over Bella's head - book version here, guys...**

We are working with Jacob on phasing when we all hear Bertha's big red truck chugging up the road. Sam finally relents and tells Jacob that he had better go and talk to her. We all phase back and get dressed to follow him out of the forest to the house. Sam was worried about Black phasing in front of her but she was relentless; she just wouldn't give up._ Gotta like that in a girl._

Sam had given Jake an order to not talk to her about it and he was really upset about that. Sam just wanted him to be able to control himself better, in case he hurt her the way Sam hurt Emily, but Jake was pissed about it.

So he heads off to talk to her and Jake looks angry; truth was that he was still angry with Sam, but she wouldn't know that. She wants to talk to him alone? We all look at Sam. Sam nods. He fucking nods. So much for 'I am all worried about you losing control'. He tells us in Quileute that we all have to go and wait in the house; to give Jake some privacy. Privacy my furry ass. How that little house is going to hold us all, I don't know.

_She's here and I can't touch her!_

We could hear them when they come back towards the house. I was not sure if Jake realizes that or not. Something for him to learn anyway.

'I can't hang out with you anymore,' he tells her._ Ouch, Jake._

'Are you breaking up with me?' she asks. What the? He never went out with you? Did he? She sounds hurt. She sounds really hurt; like she is going to cry. _Oh, baby, don't cry._

'I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore or anything else,' he says. _Yeah you leave her to me._ Damn can't think that; lucky I'm not phased.

We all look at each other as we hear Jake running towards the house. He comes in and just goes straight to his room. Is he crying?

Bella just stands there in the rain. _Oh, baby, don't do that you'll catch your death._

I watch her for a few minutes. She's not moving._ Go home, baby, go home_.

So I say, "Billy, you have to go tell her to go home. She'll get pneumonia if she stays there. Lie to her if you have to, but get her to go home."

"Yeah, you're right, Paul." Billy, wheeled towards the doorway and told her some crap about Charlie calling for her. Everyone was looking at me strangely.

"Hey, if there's one thing I know about; it's women." Yeah they will believe that.

Sam snorts.

_Shut the fuck up, Sam_.

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"What the hell? We have to meet Jake and Bertha on this fucking road?" Where she half killed herself on a motorcycle. "How did Jake get around the alpha order?"

"Shut up, Paul." said Sam. "Here they come." Yeah right; you can hear that goddamn truck coming from miles away.

We are all angry that he was breaking the rules, but I was worse because he brought **her** with him. I was having trouble holding it together.

"What have you done, Jacob?" Sam demands.

I couldn't stay back. "Why can't you just follow the rules, Jacob? What the hell are you thinking? Is she more important than everything; than the whole tribe? Than the people getting killed?" I shout at him. Hell yeah she could be;** to me** at least if…

"She can help," says Jake.

"Help!" She shouldn't be helping, _she should be safe._ Fuck I have got to cover this! "Oh, that's likely! I am sure the leech lover is just dying to help us out!"

Then she is in my face; she's shouting at me, "Who the hell do you think you are? You know nothing about me! How dare you call me that!"

She's so close; I can smell her. Oh baby I know all about you. But I can't even touch you.

Then I felt the sting in my face. She slapped me! She fucking slapped me! My imprint slapped me! A shudder ripples down my spine.

"Paul, relax!" Sam alpha orders me, but it is too late.

"Jeez, Paul, get a grip," from Jared.

I glare at her; the fucking powers-that-be tell me I have to mate with her and she fucking rejects me. Damn that _hurts._

Jacob steps in front of her. Get the fuck away from her, Black. She is not yours.

"Right! Protect _her_!" I roar; then I shudder, convulse and a growl escapes from my gritted teeth. She is not yours! _But she isn't mine either._ **Fuck that hurts!**

"Paul!" Sam and Jacob shout together.

Screw you two. That's it. And I phase.

And thank the fuck, Jacob phases and throws himself at me. I wouldn't have hurt her. I just lost it for a second. _Stop thinking about it. _

Jacob is bigger then me and he is so angry. His head is just full of Bella and how I might have hurt her. He just keeps butting into me and pushing me into the trees, but I know he is going to take a big piece out of me as soon as his precious Bella is out of sight. Doesn't want to let the blood worry her. She faints at the sight of blood.

_P: Fuck you, Black. You think that girl is going to date you?_

_J: Distraction won't work, Waggener; I'm going to kick your ass._

_P: You want a piece of me, Black? Bring it!_

_J: Yeah, it's on!_

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We tumble into Emily's kitchen laughing and punching each other. He took a big piece out of my arm; much to Jared's displeasure. Embry looked pretty happy though; guess that means he won the bet. I notice Jake look for Bella and park himself next to her. I back off and watch them from the other side of the kitchen while Sam gives us the big lecture about Victoria, the red headed vampire who wanted Bella. _And would not be able to have her._ I had pretty much heard it all from Jacob's head so I wasn't listening now. I was listening before, even though I was working real hard to keep within the alpha order and not spill the beans to Jake.

Bella was all worried about Jake; actually she seemed pretty worried about us all. I thought that was sweet. Sam gave her some lecture about being near us wasn't safe blah-de-blah but she was more worried about us. We all hooted like loons at the thought that _we_ could be hurt.

Fuck me; I was hurting enough just being close to her in this fucking happy kitchen. _Gotta stop thinking like that._

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We have been chasing that red headed bitch for weeks, we are exhausted but we have to make another attempt. She has been pissing us all off with this weird ability to escape by the skin of her teeth; assuming that saying applies to her skanky vamp fangs.

Jake is incensed; he wants her gone and it seems to give him an extra edge. Little did he know I felt the same way? I just turn it into anger at having to work so hard chasing her down all the time that I couldn't hit the bars anymore. I was dying for a decent fuck. All my spare time was spent eating and sleeping and not even in that order. At least the sightings of us "giant bears" were scaring away hikers, so the redhead was hungry too. I don't think she would stoop so low as to eat the game like the Cullens; a veggie vamp she was not! She seemed to have trouble hunting alone. Guess she missed her Rastafarian buddy and her mate, that the Cullens killed.

We have got to take her down before she gets help. I mean at the very least she can make new vamps to help out right? At the minute she just seems happy to be here on her own like she thinks we are not really going to hurt her; like it's a fucking game. We have to come up with a plan; is there somewhere we can back her into? She can climb, swim (well_ not_ drown) – do we set up a trap for her somehow?

The perfect ambush was our perfect plan and hell it worked well you know…perfectly. A third of us chased her into the other two thirds. Not so much a pincer movement as a triangle. For once the linked pack mind was really useful. She had almost slipped out of our grasp when Jacob just seemed to stretch that extra freaking inch and he ripped her arm clean off. We could her screaming like a banshee as we burnt it and we almost did a little freaking dance around the fire. After that it was just a matter of time. She was literally off balance *don't say 'armless* and it took another day or so before we all got a chance to get a piece of that red-headed bitch.

When we burnt her everyone was weirdly silent as we stood around that fire and made sure every little piece of her was gone.

I don't know why she didn't just give up; Bella had told Jake about the vengeance thing. I guess maybe vamps mate as strongly as we do. Man, she just would _not _give up! Bella was staying with the Black's, because the pack couldn't protect her as well at her own house and that just gave me the extra incentive to get Victoria gone too; didn't want Black getting his freak on with my…oh I am so fucked….

I just went home and slept for a day; at least Bella could go home and everything would go back to normal.

I buried myself in whatever woman would have me and believe me, plenty offered so that kept my mind off things.

_But fuck it hurt; it __**really **__hurt._

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So life keeps going on; Bertha and fucking unicorn happy Black are_ best friends_ and I am going to barf again. I keep away from him as much as I can and when we patrol together I just run though my fucked up childhood.

Haven't heard a thing from my beloved mother; not even a phone call to tell me she is alive and dad hasn't beaten her into the casualty ward again. Fuck he probably has, but she knows I don't give a fuck anymore so she wouldn't contact me to tell me stuff I don't give a fuck about; right?

I keep myself busy working through the cougars of Port Angeles and man, a couple of them are freaks. One has this fucking sex guide, the Kama Sutra; she wants me to try everything. Grades the positions according to pleasure; some of them are pretty weird but feel damn good. And the names? They just crack me up. 'Splitting the bamboo', 'Cicada on a bough' and my favourite, 'Cat and mouse sharing a hole'. Not that I am fucking letting anything share any of the holes **I** am interested in; unless it is other parts of** me**.

Lucky I am as strong as I am because sometimes there is a bit of heavy lifting involved.

Sometimes it is difficult to keep it hard when I am trying to maneuver her into position number four for that session. Feels more like an acrobatic performance than a fuck; but it is all good practice. Not that I am complaining.


	4. Knock knock

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 4: knock knock**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

**Now we match up with where "What was she doing?" started.**

Here comes her Goddamed noisy truck chugging out to visit Mr. Sunshine and fucking unicorns again; jeez, I don't know which is worse, the fact that he never gives up trying to get in her pants or the fact that she won't just fuck off and let him get over it? _She is looking better though lately._

Yeah kiss my furry ass and just fuck off already. Who cares if she is happier and healthier and got more colour in her face…._oh fuck my life_…hang on…the truck's stopped. No way; is she fucking parked outside my house? What the hell is she doing? Looks like she's working up the guts to do something? Oh, Taha Aki – she is not coming in here!

Keep it cool, dude, play it cool – yeah I can do that – you don't know what she wants. Cool…cool …yeah I can do that. Fuck me, **what does she want?** She's stopped on the porch – what the **hell** does she want? Oh, jeez, I can smell her…she smells good…she smells nervous…excited?

Okay, she's knocking… she's knocking on my door…keep it together boy… you can do this.

Fuck, I opened the door too eagerly, damn near ripped it off the fucking hinges.

"Bella, what can I do for you?" Look confused; not like that would be hard.

"Can I come in?" she asks.

Oh, jeez she wants to come in; come in? You can have _everything_ baby.

"Um… sure." I'll keep hanging onto the door otherwise I am just going to grab her. What the fuck does she want?

She walks nervously inside. She had to walk under my arm. Oh, man. She is so close.

I better lean against the door or I am going to lose it. I can hear her heart jump; fuck – I've blocked her exit. She's frightened. I had better move, but which way? I'll just hang here for a minute. I try to calm myself down.

What the fuck does she want? _Ask her_. I can barely hold it together; I'll just raise my eyebrows. Yeah, that'll work.

"…aah…yeah…no…I don't know… I heard … I just thought…maybe…" she stammers.

What the? None of that made any sense. If I get behind her, she won't be able to see my face; yeah that'll work and I can keep it together better. Okay, get off the door; stalk forward; don't touch her, she might freak. Circle her, close, but no touching – damn she smells good.

"Do you want to try to finish even one of those sentences?" I ask.

Fuck, listen to her heart; she's going to fucking pass out on me. C'mon baby get it together. You tell me what you want.

She wrings her hands and exhales loudly.

"Right," she breathes, "Start again…"

Atta girl. I just have to sniff her, I can't help myself. If I just lean down and…fuck me. Her heart jumps again and she starts to smell …aroused.

"I'm a virgin," she blurts out.

What in the name of….**she did not just say that!**

"Excuse me?" I manage to say because I am about to have a freaking coronary.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry… I should go." She is really wringing her hands in earnest now.

_No, no, no, don't go._ Great wolf in the sky does she want me to…jeez…

"No," fuck I said it. I touch her on the arm. It was electric. "I get it," keep touching her, "and you don't want to be?"

She nods. She fucking nodded. She wants **me** to fuck her? I have got to get myself together. My inner wolf is doing the fucking snoopy happy dance. She wants me to fuck her. Thank the fuck I am standing behind her; my face…

She is so nervous. I bet she doesn't even know why she is here. _You're my imprint baby and you want__** me**__ to fuck you._

"Well that does change things." I circle around her stopping behind her again. **Change things?** It spins my entire fucking world on its axis. She still has her head down. "So why me, Bella Swan?" I ask. Lets see just how much she is affected by this imprint bullshit; maybe she doesn't know why she came to me?

She didn't answer; just shook her head.

"Humph," I snorted, "like I care." I'll fuck you six ways to Sunday if you want baby.

Oh jeez what just happened? Her heart went into overdrive. Oh baby, don't run away! She's looking at the door. Oh no, she thinks I am going to say no. Like I could if I wanted to. I will do whatever you want, girl.

"That wasn't what I meant." You just stay right here, baby.

"I'm honoured," I breathe huskily in her ear._ Seriously you have no idea how much._

I take a tiny step closer to her; don't crowd her, just let her feel you. I sniff again; a long slow inhale.

"Damn; you smell so good." Touch her; I need to touch her.

My hands come up and gently ran up and down the top of her arms. From shoulder to elbow. She shivers and takes a deep shuddering breath. Yeah that's it baby; you let me look after you. Wow, that's weird, touching her is calming her down. Her heart rate is much better now.

Are you _really _a leech fucker? What did you get up to? Please tell me he never touched you. Please…

"So…" I purred in her ear, "…what did you and the leech get up to?"

"N..nothing," she stutters, "he barely kissed me properly. Too frightened of the venom and that he would lose control."

**YES! **

Keep stroking her; keep her here…right here…with me…

"You don't...you know…look after yourself?" It's not relevant, but I need to know because just the thought of it makes me hot. She blushes and shakes her head.

"So have you ever even had an orgasm?" I purr at her ear again.

She blushes even redder and mumbles, "No; not ever."

She's mine; she's all mine! No-one, not even she, has ever touched that pussy; it's mine.

Oh, come here, baby. I step right up behind her so she could feel all of me pressed up against her. I have to grab her by the hip, just in case she panics on me. I hear her breath hitch. Yeah, I take her breath away, hot damn. I don't have much time; fucking alpha ass Sam will be here soon. Maybe I can just look after her, be the first to give her a real pants wetting and earth shattering orgasm.

Hey, she's not breathing; fuck she's gonna faint.

"Breathe," I whisper in her hot little ear. Yeah, baby, don't you pass out on me…yet…

My hand moves to her stomach and I hold her up against me. Don't you run…must calm her down…touch her…yeah that'll work. Rub tiny circles on that flat little tummy. Atta girl…damn look at her pulse in her neck; its racing! I just want to kiss her and feel her heart beat against my lips. So I do. Oh shit; something inside of me just shifts and I swear, like a piece of my fucking heart just slammed shut.

Damn that's weird my heart is keeping pace with hers. No way; maybe we are just both excited…fuck that's really weird…

Circles; yeah let me touch some of that pale white skin... if I just slide under her shirt…slowly…don't scare her…oh, yeah that's it! Damn that smell; she is creaming her pants and I've barely touched her. She is going to be a fucking firecracker in bed.

"Sshhh…yeah…you let me look after you…shhh…" nice and low; let your voice stay low. I have gotta move or I am gonna cream myself. Just rub against her tight little ass. Yeah, baby; do you feel that? That is all for you; I'm hard as a fucking rock here.

I'm humming? Why the fuck am I humming?

She's moving her arms; what is she doing? Oh, jeez she grabbed my thighs. Oh yeah…you pull me onto your ass, baby. Maybe one day I can be buried balls deep in your ass? Fuck yeah. But right now I want to feel that hot wet pussy. If I distract her I can probably get a hand in her jeans.

I need to kiss her. Will she let me? Slowly, boy, slowly I kiss along her shoulder…fuck she tastes great…so soft…look at me darling. Open your eyes.

I grab her by the chin and pull her head around. Let me see those big pools of milk chocolate…oh, baby…come to poppa. I kiss her and go for the pants dive. Lucky they are not too tight.

My hand slides like a fucking homing beacon straight into her pussy. Man, she is so wet. I slide into her and stroke her clit. Little circles...gently. She jolts and grabs my arm like she wants to pull me out. Hell honey, isn't this what you wanted? I need more room, open your legs. Damn, girl. Can I balance and push her feet out? Oh yeah – that's better – got room to move now.

Come on girl, let me tongue you – c'mon open that hot little mouth – fuck, yeah that's it. I can feel her stiffen; she is so excited, she's nearly there. I slide my hand into her hair at the back of her head and hold her there so I can pillage her fucking mouth. Jeez, she's shivering. Yeah, baby;_ now _you can pass out. Fuck what if she does? This is all new to her.

I grab her around the ribs under her boobs and hold her up hard against me while she tries to breathe. She gasps once, twice and then shudders as I stroke her into the World of Waggener.

"Uh…Oh God," she manages as her body convulses. She is clutching my arm hard enough to leave nail marks. "Oh my, God," she groans. Yeah that's my little firecracker, scratch me, baby, scratch me.

"There's a girl," I croon against the side of her head. She shudders again and then is still. Her heart is racing now. I hold her up and croon more comforting noises against her neck. "So wet," I murmur against her skin as a couple of last little strokes bring her down again. I hold her as her breathing returns to normal. I am never fucking moving my hand from where it is right now. Not ever. But I fucking have to.

But I'll be back.

"So," I whisper, "I think that is enough for lesson one." I kiss her and pull out. Do **not** suck your fingers in front of her…she would freak.

She is confused. She stands there with tousled hair and swollen lips. "But what about you?" she blushes. She's blushing at the thought I might have a hard on. She can't fucking see me bustin' out of my cut-offs? Oh, baby, do you have a lot to learn.

I laugh at her. "Oh, I'm not one of those kids who opened all their Christmas presents at once. I want to stretch this out as long as possible." Like I ever got any fucking Christmas presents. Not as good as you baby…

"I am fairly certain you'll be back," in fact, I'd fucking bet the house on it. Especially as you look like a girl who just creamed her jeans.

Fuck, c'mon Waggener; get it together, ass hat Sam will be here any minute now. Just one last kiss and then I'll offer her a cup of tea. Yeah so we look all cozy when nosy alpha gets here. I give her a quick peck.

"Cup of tea?"

"What?" she looks dazed, "... oh… can I have coffee? Milk, no sugar."

I smile and turn towards the kitchen. She grabs my arm and stands on her tiptoes to kiss me.

"Thank you, Paul," she breathes. You are fucking welcome baby.


	5. Seventeen

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 5: seventeen**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

While the kettle is boiling I manage to adjust my raging hard-on without her noticing. I swear, the minute she is gone, I'm jacking off while I suck her flavour off my fingers. I can smell her everywhere. Don't think about that, or this will never go down.

So I tell her funny stories about the pack and watch her like a fucking hawk. She's just sitting there. Is she okay?

"How do you feel?"

"I feel cheated," she blurts out.

"Excuse me?" What the fuck!

"Oh, God, that wasn't what I meant…not you… I mean… you know…HIM." she stutters.

Who's 'him'? Oh, fuck, no; not the leech. What the? What the fuck does she mean?

"I mean we didn't even take our clothes off and that was fantastic," she gushes, "HE could have done that...I mean…he's got hands…right?"

I laugh. "Sure, sure. But you have to know what you are doing with them. How old is this guy again?" Hell yeah baby, 'fantastic' is right.

"108, 109…something like that. And he can read minds; it's not as if he can't see what other people do to each other. He can see right inside people's heads; it would be like extreme sex-ed. Plus he lives with Emmett and Rosalie and they are supposed to have half demolished a house in one of their weekend romps. And don't even get me started on Alice and Jasper; I mean they can barely keep their hands off each other. Super hearing, super sense of smell. It's not like they sleep. They have all night to do whatever. He should know everything."

They don't sleep? They just have sex all night; every night? Fuck me, maybe being a vamp wouldn't be so bad if I could fuck all night. Not that I can't fuck all night now, but if I didn't need to sleep I could go all…fuck she's staring at me. Did she ask me a question? I wasn't listening.

"What am I supposed to think; it must be me…it must be my fault… I must be the most unattractive girl...ever." Her head drops. "He didn't even want to touch me."

Damn, girl; I could slap you. Don't you let Fuckward or whatever his name is, convince you that you are not just about the most fuckable thing on the entire planet. I grabbed her on the wrist and shake her.

She looks up at me.

"Believe me, baby," I croon, "it's not you." Hey if he can't get his stone dick up; that would be his problem, baby.

Damn her heart went all funny went my voice went low. Oohh… ammunition. She likes the low deep voice Vin Diesel thing. Noted!

"I just worry."

"Hey, if only you could see inside the wolf pack heads; half of them are in lust with you; you are the most favourite fantasy girl; heck it's not like we haven't seen all the rez girls, if you know what I mean…" Oops probably shouldn't have told her that. Especially not Quil's where he always swaps her head out with some hot blonde from his latest porno DVD. I mean what is that about?

"Oh, my, God! I forgot about the pack mind. They'll know everything the first time you phase." She stands up so quickly the chair falls back on the floor. "God, I am such an IDIOT!" She is in a full blown panic attack now; her hands flailing in front of her.

What the fuck? Okay grab her before she has her own eye out. If I hold her really tight and croon at her she should calm down. Oh, c'mon; I just got that raging hard-on to go down. At this rate,_**I**_am going to poke her fucking eye out! Seriously she can't feel that?

"Jake," she mutters, "how could I forget about Jake?" Who gives a fuck about Black and his world of unicorns and fucking rainbows? Oh yeah, the _best friend._

"Honestly Bella; how many times have you told that boy you love him like a friend? And only a friend. The whole pack can see it. Emily has even tried to talk to him. You've pushed him away more times than he can count. Don't worry about the pack mind; I've been doing this longer than most of them and I can wall off some private thoughts." I smirk at her.

"No-one wants to be in my head when it is full of crap and anger." Yeah all I do is imagine one of the really savage beatings my dip-shit father gave me and they all back the fuck out of Dodge.

Oh, jeez did she just stroke my back? Yeah, one day soon you are going to be scraping your nails down it girl. She doesn't want to fuck Black; does she? Fuck, tell me you don't want to fuck Black …please.

"That's why you came to me? Am I right?" I give her a glance, "too complicated with Jake?"

If I can get her to sit down again, I might be able to think with my other head. If I can get the blood flowing north again.

She's just fucking sitting there. Seriously, she doesn't want to fuck him? She seems to be thinking about it. Oh jeez…

"I don't know…yeah...maybe," she starts. You **do** want to fuck him? What the…I must look all kinds of confused.

"I am answering your question," she explains "you know, why you? Jake is complicated and I know he is a virgin. Plus there is your, you know, reputation." She stresses the last word.

I can't help myself. I just laugh my ass off. She has no fucking idea how many women I have fucked. Actually I don't think I know how many women I have fucked.

Whatever.

I stand up; puff out my chest and flex my biceps. She giggles.

"Paul Waggener. Sex god," I say in the Vin voice.

She giggles again. "Yeah, right," she laughs, "sit your sex god ass down before you make a fool of yourself."

I sit. Like a fucking lapdog; she commands and I obey. Shit, do you want me to fuck you baby? "I didn't hear any complaints from you before," I leer at her and raise one eyebrow. She giggles again. Damn that is such a cute giggle. I don't think I have heard her giggle before.

"No," she manages, "no complaints here." Damn right girl!

I clap my hands together with glee. "Excellent! So same time tomorrow?" Yeah, I'll be here waiting. In fact, I think I may still be sporting the same fucking hard-on if this bastard doesn't go down soon.

"We'll need a cover story… this is the rez; someone is sure to have seen you come here today. What with the subtle, bright red and incredibly noisy truck too." I tilt my head and look at her. "Tell me you didn't park it right outside my house?" Like I didn't hear you coming from fucking miles away.

She didn't think of that; fuck she's adorable.

"Maybe you could tutor me? That's it. You do well at school right? English; yeah it will have to be English, you're always reading all the time, you must get good grades in English?"

"You tutor me in English and I'll tutor you in the arts of love. We could work our way through all seven volumes of the Kama Sutra." Well eventually, but I really think we should concentrate on just _one_ and some of that shit is just weird. I mean what the fuck do I want to know about the meaning of flower arrangements for and using sesame paste as a sex aid? Tahini lube? I don't think so.

"What the hell, Paul? You're still in high school?" she squeaks.

Oh jeez is she panicking again? I just got her calmed down after the last freak attack. What is her problem? Rewind…blah blah blah…I'm in high school. Well of course I'm in fucking high school!

"Bella, I'm seventeen," I tell her.

"SEVENTEEN?"


	6. Downside

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 6: Downside**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

"SEVENTEEN?"

"Jeez, girl. Will you calm down and stop with the panic attacks. Maybe you should cut back on the coffee?"

"Seventeen? How can you be seventeen?" Fuck me; she is screeching like a goddamn banshee. I surrender! I hold up my hands to try and placate her.

What is her problem? Am I too young for her? She's eighteen isn't she? I can't be too old for her, her last boyfriend was fucking 109 for fucks sake.

"But, but, but..." she stutters. She groans and lets her head fall to the table. "I am an idiot." She bangs her head on the table.

"Hey, now stop that," I murmur in a real quiet voice.

Fuck me, she better not hurt herself. I cannot explain having to take her to casualty. Black will have my ass. Fucking get yourself under control woman.

"ISABELLA!" Oh, jeez, now she is going to cry. Fuck me sideways, I am no good at this imprint shit. The woman is a freaking emotional roller coaster. I'm already exhausted. I think I need a nap. No, no, no, don't cry, baby.

Okay, maybe if I touch her she'll calm down; that worked before. I kneel next to her chair and try to get her to look at me. Okay I will just hold her hand then, girls like that shit.

"Bella, I know you are way out of your depth here. You came here today and that was the bravest thing you have done in a long time." Fuck me. I didn't just tell her I've been stalking her for months did I? No; she didn't pick up on it. Phew.

I rub circles on her hands to calm her; don't think about the other circles you made with your hips before or you will crack another fat.

"You worked up the courage to come here and ask for something you wanted. It was the first step and you can keep going; you can do it; you can get out of the darkness." I grab her face to make her look at me. "I know you can do it, baby." Fuck me! I called her baby.

She gives a tiny nod and blinks back the tears that hung in her eyelashes.

"Now, you need to get home. It's getting late; Charlie will be wondering where you are. Someone is sure to have noticed your truck by now." Yeah Sam must be fucking balls deep in Emily or something to have been held up this long.

"Come on woman, get yourself together."

She stands up and attempts to pull herself together as instructed. She tucks her shirt back in and runs her hands through her hair.

"Did you have a bag?" I don't want her to come back while I am sucking my fingers and jacking off.

"No. No bag. I left everything in my truck. I didn't really think…" she blushes again. "I was so nervous I left everything in the truck just in case…" In case what? I would turn you down? Damn, she's serious! This girl needs a huge dose of self esteem. Fuckward screwed her up big time.

"Okay let me show you out. Never let it be said that my mother didn't teach me manners," I laugh 'cause all she taught me was how to take a beating. I heard that wanky phrase on the TV once.

Fuck me; Sam is still not here. Maybe I can get her out of here before he shows up. Oh, no, here he comes now.

Oh, well, nothing for it; let's see if I can get her gone before he chews me a new asshole. I open the door and there he is. Should have been called Sam Deepwater; fucking emotionless machine.

"Oh, hey, Sam, Bella and I were just arranging a time for her to tutor me in English." Sam looks confused. "You remember, you commented the other day that I would need to improve my attendance at school and my grades or I would bring the pack into disrepute; something like that anyway. So I asked Bella to come over for a coffee and to see if she was happy to take me on as a student. What are you doing here?"

Yeah, take that alpha ass; English lessons. Fuck I need her phone number. So I can crank call her and breathe heavily into her shelly pink…He's just looking at me.

"Gosh, we should exchange phone numbers, Bella, to make it easier to organize the lessons." I move back into the house; jeez, the place reeks of her. No way is Sam going to miss that. I come back with a pad and pen and write my numbers down for her. I resist the girlie urge to draw little hearts on it. A quick touch of her hand sends a jolt to my heart.

"Thanks, Paul. I will call you later to check the time," says Bella. That's it girl, hold it together for me. Good girl.

"Oh, Sam; Say hi to Emily for me and ask her to call me if she needs baking help for the next bonfire." Sam has a very odd look on his face.

We watch her walk to the truck. Damn check out that ass. I have gotta get me a piece of that. Not a squeak from Sam. I resist the urge to wave her goodbye. Fucking girlie shit.

As she disappears out of view, Sam says one word, "Inside."

Yep, new asshole coming right up.

As we walk inside Sam gives one big slow inhale. Hey dude, go home and snort your own imprint; back the fuck off mine.

He just looks at me. I try for subtle, "What?"

"What did you do?"

"Me, I didn't do anything." I try to sound hurt.

He just gives me that look and tilts his head on the side.

"She just knocked on the door and asked me to get her off." Sam snorts.

"Fuck you, Sam. She said she didn't want to be a virgin anymore and she wanted me to fix that for her. Yeah, me."

Sam looks doubtful. "So she doesn't know about the imprint?"

"Hell no. She's got no idea why she came here. Guess my state-wide rep as a good fuck reached her ears. I just got her off; thought I should take it slow…you know…for _her_."

Sam gives me another weird look. "I was starting to think you must have made a mistake." He shakes his head. "No way could you behave the way you do after imprinting." He sat down; he looked like the wind had been blown out of his sails. "How could you resist it? I couldn't…it…hurt too much…"

**Oh fuck. I didn't think of that!** Sam imprints on Emily and dumps Leah like a bag of shit. He thinks maybe he should have tried harder to resist it, for Leah's sake. Fuck he really did love her; we all see it. He even talks to her differently from the rest of the pack. Occasionally he slips and we see him remembering the night he asked her to marry him.

"It's different, Sam. Bella doesn't know. She's not a rez girl; she doesn't know the stories and the legends. It's like it's only half strength if she hasn't accepted it. She doesn't feel anything for me; she just wants me to fuck her. And if that's all she wants I am going to have to take it. You know the imprintee has to be whatever they want right? Protector, lover, brother etc."

I touch him on the shoulder. "She fucking hates me; I have been such a complete ass to her for so long."

"Yeah, maybe I should have…" Sam shakes himself and gets it back together. Like that is as much wallowing as he is going to allow himself.

"Awww, Sam…do you want a hug?"

He punches me on the shoulder and we both laugh.

After a minute he asks me, "So how do you feel?"

"Fuck, I don't know." I can't tell him about that weird thing where my heart seemed to just shut itself off. No fucking way. I am going to try to keep this one close to my chest…_or in my heart…_

"Hey; it's win/win right. I get to fuck Bella Swan. Is there a down side?"

"Jacob," says Sam as he raises an eyebrow.

Yeah I suppose that is a pretty big, hulking dangerous down side.

"Fuuck…look I am going to keep this as quiet as I can. If she wants to tell him; fine…and I'll take the beating. I don't think he would **actually** kill me…not deliberately at any rate." I pause, "Not that we have actually done anything yet."

Sam just looks at me. "You know this is going to be the biggest cluster fuck in the end?"

"Yeah…probably."

He seems to make a decision. "I'll do what I can; keep you and Jake on different patrols. We've got enough pack now to do that and Jake doesn't need training; he's a natural." Yeah the fucking super alpha dog.

"I'd really appreciate that, Sam." Now fuck off so I can jack off.

"There's a pack meeting tonight at my place; I want you there and for fucks sake take a shower before you go."

I can't resist; I just hold my hand under my nose and close my eyes. Sam snorts and heads for the door.


	7. Patrolling

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 7: patrolling**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: this one is just a quickie, as Paul would say**

**- thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

The pack meeting is the usual scramble for food with everyone talking over the top of each other. It's a wonder we don't roll on the floor and bite each other on the back of the neck. Fuck, is that my phone? Don't recognize the number.

"Hello?" Which hot chick are you baby? Fuck, I can't think like _that _anymore; not if _she_ wants me. Women, fuck what am I going to do about the women? I can't change my number, I gave it to _her_.

"Paul?" dang, who is this? She sounds cute.

"Yeah, this is Paul." I grab for another muffin.

"It's Bella, Bella Swan." Jacob freezes in the back ground. I look at him and shrug. He asks why is she calling me, but I don't answer him.

"Oh hey, Bella." Keep it casual boy – fuck I hope she remembers the pack can hear everything and I would bet they are all listening too. There is a deathly silence in the room now. Why the fuck did she choose now to call?

"I realised that if I am going to tutor you in English that I need to know what texts you are doing." Oh thank fuck; she remembered. "I don't know if the Rez School has the same curriculum as Forks high."

"Wow, Bella this is a little embarrassing. I confess that I have taken so little interest in English; I am not sure what texts we are supposed to be studying. I usually catch up on my sleep in English." I can hear her adorable giggle again. Jake is looking suspicious.

"But the guys are here, I will just ask them. Can you hang on?"

"Sure, sure," she says. Really spending too much time around Jake, girl.

I cover the phone and ask the guys what texts we are doing for English; Jake looks relieved. He trusts her._ Idiot._

I tell her its Romeo and Juliet and Quil reminds me about Jane Eyre. Typical romantic crap.

"You've not heard of Jane Eyre, Paul? Lucky for you it is one of my favourite books."

I would bet that it is, baby.

"So what about Wednesday afternoon? Does that suit you? That will give me time to read some of the novel. I don't think I have patrol that night so we could get a good start on this tutoring." I look at Sam and he shakes his head; cool, no patrol.

"Wednesday is fine. I'll be at your place after 4." Fuck no; don't come to me; they will all find excuses to be around.

"No wait, Bella, what about we make it at your house; save you the travel time? It's not like I have to get dinner ready for anybody." Heck maybe she can feed me too?

"Thanks, Paul. That was really thoughtful. My place it is. Bring any notes you do have. See you then. Bye"

I hang up and the entire pack is looking at me. I don't say anything; I mean they just heard it all. Sam clears his throat and says "I asked Paul to work a little harder on his schoolwork and Bella has offered to tutor him in English." Yeah, what he said.

Leah's eyes narrow and Jake looks more relieved. Yeah it has never occurred to him not to trust his little Bella. If only he knew I had my hand on her pussy hours ago. Fuck we have patrol together tomorrow night; I had better keep a tight lid on my head.

888888888888

**Tuesday**

Jake and I are on patrol and he is giggling; I swear giggling. I take a look inside his head because usually I steer way clear of the freaking sunny unicorns, but tonight he has an image of Bella and a guy; fuck is that me? What the fuck? I look like a dog and then I start to hump her leg. Yeah well, I probably wouldn't say no, but what the fuck Jake?

I decide I had better get him off that freaky shit; a little too close to what I would really like to do to her.

_P: Jake, I have to get to Bella's for this English session tomorrow, do you think I might be able to borrow her motorbike? I know she doesn't much ride it anymore; maybe you could call her and ask her for me? I'll put fuel in it for her if you like._

_J: yeah; I'll call her and ask for you._

Thank the fuck that got him thinking about teaching her to ride the goddamn bike. Oh yeah, when she fell. What? She called him 'sort of beautiful'? What the fuck does that mean? Yeah and I am sort of unattractive to women. Yeah, right.

888888888888888


	8. Dogs and legs

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 8: dogs and legs**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

**Wednesday **

I see Jake at school and he tells me I can borrow Bella's bike to get to her place. Excellent. I argued that I couldn't really run there; might get outed as a wolf if someone saw me. Besides got to carry all my English notes. I have actually read all the books; I don't know why I pretend that I haven't. Sometimes it's easier to pretend to be stupid; people expect less of you. And in my experience, the less people expect of me, the better._ What about Bella?_ Yeah, well, the fucking imprint leaves me being what the fuck ever she wants me to be and this week that seems to be sex toy. Lucky me. Can't really complain.

I am halfway to her house when I think maybe I should have put a bit more effort into getting dressed. Ah, what the hell; she wants my body, not my clothes right? The condoms I grabbed in anticipation are burning a hole in my pocket.

I am so freaking excited at the thought of seeing her again and no-one to cock block us this time. Well at least I am hoping Charlie is at work and far, far away. I pull up out the front, no point in hiding the fact that I am here, the pack knows. She comes out the front wearing a fucking apron like some perfect 1950's housewife, bringing the smell of fresh baked goodies and is that a smear of flour on her cheek? She is fucking adorable. I have this fucking vision of her in "our" kitchen, baking for "our" kids.

She makes some crack about not wearing a helmet and I remind her that this is her bike and she puts her fingers on my lips, like a little kid with a secret. I just freeze and stare at her. I just want her to keep doing that; keep touching me. But she apologizes, pulls away and turns to go into the house. I follow her, like I can do anything else?

She loses the apron and we study together and I eat half of the food. I could eat it all, but I am trying to be polite. She laughs at me with my vampire Jane Eyre theory and I can't help myself; I get real close to her, slide my fingers under her ear and rub my thumb across the flour on her cheek. I can feel her pulse against my hand. She is horrified I didn't tell her the flour was there earlier. Before I can shut my stupid mouth I tell her it is adorable. I used the fucking word; **out loud! **Man card; seriously gone.

I force myself to sit back down at the table before I do anything else stupid.

"Oh, before I forget, I have to ask what on earth you said to Jake about me. He had the weirdest image in his head on patrol on Tuesday night." I can feel my face get hot just at the memory of Jake's vision. "I mean it looked like I was trying to hump your leg. He thought it was pretty funny."

Bella burst out laughing. "Oh, honestly what am I going to do with that boy? He was so worried about you being here and I told him, in jest, that I wouldn't let you hump my leg."

Hump your leg? Bella said 'hump'?

I just stare at her; I use the Vin voice, "But what if I want to hump your leg?" Hell yeah, because I do. If I make this a game I will be able to touch her again. I am _dying_ to touch her again.

I slink off the chair and do my best dog imitation and crawl towards her. She is just staring at me. I can hear her heart rate jump and …that smell...fuck yeah…she's excited. I just touch her and there is that weird electric jolt again. I swear it goes straight to my cock.

So I think I will just go for it. I watch her intently because she is watching me and I get real close and push my aching cock up against her leg. Do you feel that now baby? And I slide right up her leg. She gasps and clutches the counter. Damn that feels_ so_ good; I've had sex that didn't feel this good.

I slide my hands up her thigh and slide back down; I want to do that again. She moans; she fucking moans. I have shut my eyes because it just feels that good and all I can smell is her…

I put one hand on her mound and the other over her asshole and as I push my cock against her hip, I press my hands together. She just creams her jeans. _Take that Black, you wanted to see me hump her leg. I made her come in her pants._

She hasn't moved, she is just staring at me. What is she staring at? I follow her eye line down. Oh, fuck me, my rock hard cock is sticking up out the top of my jeans. One of the problems with going commando. She's staring at it as if she is not sure what it is. Oh man, her staring at it, is making me even harder. Touch me, please touch me baby. I am praying. Her tiny white hand reaches out and brushes off the drop of pre-cum from the top. I manage not to come all over her as I feel her fingers brush across the top of my cock. Now I am praying with everything I have that she licks her finger. I don't know why, but I want her to taste ME.

And she does!

I growl; I fucking_ growl_ and kiss her so hard, I damn near take her face off. I grab her and sit her perfect ass on the bench so I can grind myself into her. I start kissing my way down her neck when I hear the police cruiser pull into the end of the street. _Fuck. Cock blocked._

"Wow," she mutters. Wow, is right.

"Charlie," I murmur.

"What?"

"Charlie just drove into the street."

"You can hear that?"

I nod. She panics again; yeesh this woman is just one big panic attack.

"Oh, my, God. Look at us." She was frantic. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Bella, calm down. It'll be okay." I pull myself together and then realize she is still perched on the bench; cock blocked on my dessert. Damn.

"I'll sit; you stand." I pull her off the counter. Wouldn't want her to hurt herself when she jumps down. She'd be sure to sprain an ankle or some shit.

Charlie wanders into the kitchen and looks at me speculatively. Well that got rid of the hard-on immediately. _Boy shot in kitchen of police chief;_ I can imagine the newspaper headlines now. How about _boy freakishly survives shooting?_ Lucky his sense of smell is not as good as his powers of observation and he can't smell her.

"That your bike out the front, Paul?"

"Yes, sir." I glance at Bella; he'd have a fucking coronary if he knew it was really **her **bike and that her last few trips to casualty were courtesy of that bike.

"I sure hope you have a helmet; those things are death machines you know. Can't tell you the number of kids I have scraped off the roads around here." Hey indestructible werewolf here; can't afford a helmet anyway.

"No. I don't really have the money right now for a helmet."

"Let me look in the lost property at the station. Sure to be an old helmet in there I could let you have. Hate for you to die on the way here one day." Charlie likes me? What the fuck? "Not sure how Bella would take that." Now what did he mean by that?

"Oh, I am just tutoring Paul in English, Charlie, you know that," she says. Ouch, oohh that smarts – yeah Charlie I am just the sex toy boy here. Not dating material at all; you of all people know that.

As he walks away I hear him say that he will get two helmets because he would bet the house that Bella will end up on that bike anyway. I smile because he is more right than he knows. I look at Bella to see she is looking confused. I mouth "what?" at her.

"Why is Charlie doing you a favour?" she hisses at me. Jeez, Bella, he has seen what my dip-shit parents did to each other …and to me. I think I might have been to casualty more than her. She has no idea what Charlie does every day; amazing she could be that naïve.

"I don't know; ask him? I should get going. Are you okay?" I start clearing up my books and papers, because I am fighting an urge to tell her everything and get her undying sympathy.

"I'm confused," she says.

I brush her cheek; I just have to touch her again. But then my mouth goes into overdrive and I find myself saying "It'll all work out; I promise."_ Fuck me; why did I tell her that?_


	9. Bonfire

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 9: bonfire**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

I ride back to the rez and leave the bike under cover at my place. Hey I've almost got the girl; I can keep the bike can't I? Besides I want to stay a mile away from Black, just in case.

I go over to the Ateara's and scam some food; I think about scamming some more from somewhere else but I head home for a shower and a rest. 'Home' what a fucking misnomer that is. I lie on my bed imagining what I would change in this house if it was the home I imagined earlier today with Bella, baking and kids. Maybe a swing in the yard and a cubby house in the trees and toys all over the place; where ever they dropped them. Yeah that's a home right? Kids don't need expensive shit; just lots of hugs. Makes me feel all flappy inside; weird.

I remind myself I had better call Bella and make sure she is okay; she looked pretty freaked when I left. I wonder what she is doing; guarantee she is lying on her bed reading that freaking romantic crap.

So I call her.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby," and just to test my theory, "still reading Jane Eyre?"

"Holy crow, are you spying on me?" Score one for me! I laugh.

"No; I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I told you my mother taught me manners. You should always ring the girl after."

"After what," she interrupted, "after you hump her leg?"

That's pretty funny; she can be really witty if she believed in herself a bit more. More of Fuckward's smashing of her self esteem. At least I didn't sniff her butt.

"Yeah sorry. I don't know what came over me." I pause, "You have very sexy legs."

"How would you know? You haven't ever seen them properly; you know…naked."

Oh baby I don't think we are up to phone sex yet. But give me time…

"You don't know how much of your legs I have seen," Fuck I didn't just tell her I have been stalking her for months AGAIN. "Now that **did **sound like I am spying on you. I really rang to see if you are coming to the bonfire on Friday night. I suppose Jake mentioned it to you."

"No he hasn't but then I haven't spoken to him today. Sod's law that will be him calling now. I didn't give him my cell phone number." _Good girl; don't give it to him._

"I gotta go – see you Friday?"

"Yeah see you then. Sleep well Bella."

I hang up. What the fuck do you want to see her at the bonfire for? You can't exactly sit next to her and smooch her in front of the pack now can you? Idiot; are you trying to out yourself?

**Thursday**

Another shitty day at school. I resist the urge to beat up the little dickheads in the corridors. I have beaten up so many of them in the past that all I really need to do now is growl at them and they wet their pants. Not really growl; woe betide I out the pack like that. Hell sometimes a Waggener sneer is good enough. Or I can just smack them up against the lockers; that always sounds scary even if it doesn't actually hurt them much.

I let a few of the girls fawn all over me, but my heart is literally not in it. I try to make it look good, but I would rather hump Bella's leg any day than fuck any of these pieces of skirt. Some of them are fucking whiny about it too. I tell them to fuck off and I have probably made a few new enemies. Who gives a fuck.

I guess the handfuls of condoms in my school pack are never going to be used on any other woman. No more quickies under the bleachers or up against the wall of the library. I actually don't feel too bad about that. Not sure a blow job from any of them would appeal to me either. Now she came to me, the imprint seems to be stronger; even if _she_ is not sure what is going on, she has got me by the balls now. No more bar trawling for me. The alpha order is holding though and I can't think about it or talk about it to anyone except Sam.

Sam and I are on patrol together. He is seriously distracted with some shit about Emily. She wants marriage and babies or some such. Too cute. He and I share so many secrets these days that he seems to have trouble keeping a lid on it with me. Thank the fuck he doesn't take any notice of me; not sure what he would make of me humping Bella's cute little leg.

I might hit Embry and the Calls up for a meal tonight. I have been saving my stipend from the council. When the rents pissed off, they gave me an allowance to cover my wolf expenses. I don't know what I am saving it for, but I'll think of something.

**Friday**

Another boring school day; just go through the motions. Hey at least I attended; don't want Sam on my back about my truanting or what the fuck ever he calls it. Usually I would be in Port Angeles fucking some hot cougar but that just doesn't appeal either.

**I am seriously fucking pussy whipped. **Can't even look at another girl let alone think about fucking them. Damn this imprint stuff is strong when it really gets going.

I show up at the bonfire and Bella is there early helping Emily. I thought I could do this but I realise I can't; I am just going to fucking crawl across hot coals to grab her. Best I just avoid her. I can't even speak to her or I am going to lose it. If she wants to come and talk to me I'm good with that, but she doesn't; she just winds herself up more.

Black is all over her like a freaking rash and she keeps shrugging him off. Yeah fucker; get your hands off my imprint. Bella is so nervous and upset; and the worse she gets, the _less _I can speak to her because I can just tell she is going to have yet another one of her freaking panic attacks. Blow us both out of the water. But my heart is seriously aching for her; she is _**so**_ hurt because she can't understand the way I am behaving. Fuck I'm not sure I understand why I am acting the way I am.

Poor thing. She spills something on herself and I am just barely holding myself together; I just want to storm into that kitchen and hug her. Fuck this is weird shit. And then I can hear her shouting at Leah.

"Fuck off. Honestly Leah; I am tutoring him at English." Her voice just rings out over the back yard. The pack can hear every word even clearer. Fuck are they talking about _me?_

"He probably thinks he ought to be less rude to me in that case and why do you care? You think he's screwing me? Or are you jealous that you are the only girl on the rez he has not fucked?"

Emily gasps. Oh holy fuck she did not just say that! Everyone looks at me.

"Bella said fuck," snorts Quil.

Jake looks like he is going to bite Leah's head off when she gets outside. What the fuck did she ask her?

"Now back the hell off and leave me alone," Bella says.

I make some excuse about not wanting to be there when either of them comes out. Everyone looks sympathetic.

I run; I fucking_ run_.

I head into the forest and strip; dump my clothes and grab a pair of cut-offs from a hidey-hole. We have them all over the place because we are constantly wrecking our clothes; well I am anyway. I just know she is going to head home; she's upset, that is the first place she will go.

I phase and run like hell through the forest for the road. I can hear the truck. She's not going very fast but I can feel waves of distress coming through the imprint from her. I get to the road; phase back, put the cut-offs on and stand in the road.

I try to get my breathing under control as the truck comes up the hill. She sees me and it suddenly occurs to me that she might be mad enough to run me down. I freeze. Not that she could do me any real damage but fuck that would** hurt**. I try to send her waves of sympathy. She stops and stares at me.

As I move to open the door of the truck I hear her let out a heartbreaking sob. I can't get to her fast enough. I just have to hold her; to touch her.

"Oh baby," I murmur in a low voice. I reach for her and crush her against my chest. She was still sitting in the truck and I held her close with my hand under her hair. I make soft crooning noises as she cries.

I was trying to apologise by touch.

Once she had reduced her sobs to hiccups, I shoved her over and told her to let me drive her home.

I kept my arm around her and made fast work of the trip back to Forks.

"This is all your fault," she mutters at me.

I kiss her on the forehead, "yeah probably."


	10. Flowers for Mum

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 10: Flowers for mum**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: remember children; safe sex always**

**thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

We get to her place and she wants me to come in. Tells me Charlie is on the late shift. I go.

She stands in the kitchen staring out the window and trying to calm herself down. I need to know what Leah said. "What did Leah say? We missed the first part."

"God I suppose the whole yard heard it."

"The pack did."

"This will make you laugh… she accused me of being 'up to something' with you. Based solely on the fact that we ignored each other."

**Fuck. No way.** I am _not_ laughing. What the fuck did Leah pick up on? I am going to have to make up some bullshit story to keep her off Bella's back.

She continues but I'm only half listening; desperately trying to think of something, anything to tell Leah.

"Was I right about Leah?" she asks me.

"About not screwing her?" she nodded, "Yeah." Like I would go there? Sam would beat the living shit out of me for starters. Actually **Leah** would beat the living shit out of me.

"It was a guess; but a good one, eh?" she paused, "I mean I knew you were a player, that's why I went to you but, I'm not sure I really understand why I went to **you.**"

She stepped towards me, "Why did I go to you, Paul?"

Oh fuck, there is no way I can tell her about the imprint._**I am stuck.**_I kind of want her to like me for me, you know? I have been such an asshole for so long there is no way she will believe I imprinted fucking months ago. I have no fucking idea what to do or say. I still don't get all this imprint shit and trust me to get an imprint that's all kinds of difficult. Can't just fall for the bird I sit next to every day like fucking Jared.

No, for me, it has to be _hard._

"Why do we turn each other on so badly?…not 'badly'; I don't know how to say it… I mean you made me...," she was blushing madly, " ...just humping my leg."

Well, baby, that's because you are just about the most fuckable thing on the planet to me and clearly I push all your buttons too. But I don't say anything. If I start talking, it is just all going to pour out and never stop.

She took another step.

"I've been a zombie for months after Edward left." She's getting closer. "You just touch me and I feel… I can't explain it… I **feel**…I haven't felt anything for ages."

She touches me and I shiver. I fucking _shiver_.

"This is not normal, is it, Paul?"

And then I feel her brush the backs of her fingers over my happy trail. That shit jolts straight to my cock.

And then she says the magic words.

"I want it to be you, Paul. You remember? You said you would be honored." She kisses me so gently. "Please, Paul." Oh that is **it!** She's fucking begging me to fuck her.

I mutter a prayer request to all my ancestors and grab her.

"Shower," I mutter; my head buried in her neck. "I think we both need a shower; you for one, smell like Leah. I don't want you to smell like Leah."

I fucking run up the stairs carrying her so easily.

I ask her if she needs to get her bed ready and she just blushes at me. This is girl is so innocent I could just die. She doesn't understand, so I try to explain about blood and first times and now she is blushing as red as a fucking fire engine.

She's so inexperienced I am going to have to be real careful; go pretty slowly; not crowd her or freak her out. Especially not let her get an eyeful of my horse cock until she can't say no. I jump in the shower and adjust the water so that it feels cool to me; a good temperature for anyone else. I hear her move around in the room and then I hear her come into the bathroom. Fuck her heart jumped. I look over my shoulder at her. Can't resist, I have to be cocky.

"See anything you like?" I ask her.

"You have the best ass." Damn right I do.

"Well if you get your clothes off and get in here, I will let you wash it." Fuck you can wash everything baby; especially my cock. I hand her the soap and a washer. I just love someone washing my back. She touches me so gently it tickles.

I tell her to do it harder. She tries but we will have to work on the back washing skills in the future. And the cock washing too. I swear she hasn't even looked down.

I can hear her heart racing so I tell her it is her turn. I know from previous experience that me touching her calms her down; even if she doesn't know it yet. I soap her all over and run my hands everywhere. She gasps when I cross her breasts or dive between her legs but I make sure I don't do any freaky things._ Yet._ She's much calmer now so I leap out, grab a towel and tie it around my hips. I am fucking tenting it, but I hold her towel in front of me and she doesn't notice.

She steps out and holds her arms up like a little kid and that's it; I fucking love this girl. All I ever want to do is look after her.

I start kissing her and slowly backing her towards the bedroom. She seems to be into this but I still take it slow. I just need to check that this is really what she wants; that** I **am who she really wants. I stop. She panics.

"Paul?"

I hold her gently and ask her, "Are you sure this is what you want, Bella? I'm a big guy and you are a virgin. It will probably hurt. Once I start I am not sure I will be able to stop. Your scent alone is making me crazy."

"I'm sure." **Yes!**

I nod and kiss her and then I remember that I've left my condoms in my other pants.

"Condoms," I groan, "I phased when I ran from the bonfire and I've got nothing."

She grabs my face, "Paul… Paul… its okay… I'm on the pill." She blushes.

Fuck me and you're just telling me now?

"Blame an over protective mother," she says.

"Blame her… seriously… I am going to send her flowers," every year on this day for the rest of her fucking life! "Are you sure? I am clean, I always use condoms with the other…oh … well… you know what I mean…" Whoops I just reminded her, what a complete man whore I am; _or used to be._

She tries to do a sex kitten imitation; it is adorable. "I would be honored," she breathes at me.

Oh it is **on!**

I push her back down on the bed and just stare at her. I can see her heart racing. I can smell her arousal. Her nipples have peaked with excitement. I have to suck on those babies. I lower my head and suck one into my mouth. I have to taste the other one; check to see if it is the same flavour. I kiss my way across her chest. No this one is slightly different, go figure. I roll the nipple between my lips and nibble and suck on it. Fuck I could do this all day. She groans and falls back on the bed.

I have got to get her off first; make sure she's wet enough to take me. I slide my hand down to her pussy and she jumps like this all new to her. For fucks sake woman.

"C'mon baby," I murmur "We've done this before. Or do you want me to talk you through it?"

"Please," she groans, "I love the sound of your voice." Yeah, I know that you do.

So I just start blabbing away against her skin. Fuck knows what I say. I swear none of it would make any sense. I slide my finger inside her and she just breathes out. Yeah, baby, I am the first person ever to touch you_ there_. I slip a second finger in and try to scissor them to open her up a bit. She's pretty wet now. Then I stroke my thumb across her clit. She's squirming and pressing against my hand. Atta girl. You come for me. She whimpers my name. Jeez, that jolts me.

I tell her to come and she shatters on my hand.

A minute or so later she comes back from wherever the fuck I just sent her and she grabs me, kissing me like a mad thing. Damn she's learning, she just stuck her little tongue in my mouth. I suck on it and decide that she is ready.

I pull off my towel and slide closer, supporting myself on my arms. She freezes. **Fuck me; not another panic attack. **

_Note to self: make Bella drink tea from now on._

"That is never going to fit," she whispers.

"It'll fit trust me." I roll my eyes. "I told you I was big." I resist the urge to tell her that every penis fits every pussy. Like she needs to be reminded of the number of pussies I have tested that theory on.

"I thought you meant big… you know…tall…I mean what are you?…six feet four?"

Damn she is so adorably naïve to think_ that_ was what I meant.

I sit and look at her for a minute and then I realise that with the way I am sitting I have unintentionally displayed everything I have tried so hard to hide from her up until now. Jeez Bella, this is what you wanted. This cock has your fucking name written on it baby. I am so hard and there is no way I am walking away from this when I have got her so close. Time to play dirty.

Time to pull out the big guns. Well the big gun.

She can't take her eyes off it. And then she licks her lip. Yeah baby, you want this. I know you do.

I touch myself. I stroke myself again and I can see her swallow. I move very slowly and carefully and I keep staring at her. She can't take her eyes off my cock.

I maneuver so that I am between her legs. Her pussy is so wet it is shining and I get in nice and close and rub the head of my cock right along it. I manage not to lose it all over her. What does that Kama Sutra book call it? Putting on the sock or some shit. Like they had socks?

"Do that again," she groans. No problem baby. I do, but I stop at her opening and just push the head in a little way. I nearly come on the spot and start running through football teams or whatever shit I can think of to not lose it right here. Not that I couldn't get it up in another minute but that kind of shit is just embarrassing.

"Okay …I changed my mind…Paul, I want you; I want all of you." Well thank the fuck for that.

She's ready, I can feel it and besides I don't want her to change her mind. I tell her to hang onto my shoulders, she's gonna grab them anyway, may as well do it now.

I lift her knee, kiss her hard and slide home. I feel that little piece of skin break on my cock and I am so glad I am bareback for the first time in my life. But she panics again; she clutches at my shoulders and tries to throw me off. But the way she arches her back she actually takes me in deeper. She whimpers and I nearly lose it again. She is so hot and wet and so very tight.

I swear, "Stop moving, baby." Please stop or I am going to come like a boy on his first time. We can do better than that; I want this to be fucking _memorable_ for her.

She's so little she is buried somewhere in the middle of my chest. "I'm sorry …"she whimpers, "I don't know what to do..."

Adorable; she's fucking adorably naïve.

"Shh…shhh," I croon at her, "It's not you, it's me… if you move like that I will come."

"I didn't do anything wrong?" she queries.

"Are you kidding girl," I moan, "I get off humping your leg, remember?" She laughs and calms down but she's wriggling now from laughing.

"Don't laugh…you're moving again." I pepper her face with kisses. "It's so sensitive without the condom too; I can feel all of you." I drop my voice and after a minute or so, make a tentative stroke with my hips. She gasps and closes her eyes.

"Did that hurt?"

"No; it burns a little but in a good way." She moves her hips and I damn near lose it again.

Holy fuck I want to live here; it feels so good. She is so tight and so hot and she's just made for me. She's mine.

"Right; you asked for it woman." I pull almost all the way out and then stroke back in. I take up a slow deep rhythm as I concentrate on stroking into her. I can feel her grab my ass and her sharp little nails sink into me. Yeah mark me, baby. You want to bite me, you go right ahead.

I lift up on my arms to get some weight off her and to get a better rhythm. We are both sweating now. She is falling apart under me. I can hear her moan and gasp so I pick up the pace. She just wails as I slam into her. I balance and reach for her clit and pinch it. She comes, hard.

Her whole channel clutches at me like a fist and I growl as I explode into her. She's shuddering and I just collapse on her. I don't want to crush her so I roll onto my back taking her with me; I'm still half hard and buried inside her. I am never leaving. I don't want her to move and push me out.

She lay on my chest as we both got our breath back.

"See," I kiss her forehead, "told you it would fit!"


	11. Fine

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 11: fine**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

We lie there and I keep touching her. I rub her back until she falls asleep. I swear I want to stay awake, but I doze off too. I stir as she wriggles out to go somewhere; probably for a piss. I doze off again but wake when I can feel her watching me. She's just staring at me. She's not panicking now thank the fuck because I am not under the sheet. I must look like a porn star.

"You gonna stand there and eye-fuck me all night?"

"I was just wondering if Charlie should arrest me for corrupting a minor."

I snort, "No, you're good baby; it's 16 in Washington. Besides he has to catch us. Speaking of whom, I didn't hear him come home."

"I hate you," she mutters at me.

"What? What did I do?" I'm still half asleep. I hold out an arm and she snuggles against my side. I am going to lose my man card if I admit that snuggling is good, but it is.

"You are so beautiful anyway with your russet skin and flawless complexion and then you get turned into a werewolf and get an extreme dose of long life, impressive physique and physical ability; it's just not fair," she grumbles, "and your shiny, shiny hair."

Oh baby, you know _nothing _about my life. Before I met you having a super long life was really not an advantage in any way and what the fuck is wrong with my hair?

"I think you're beautiful." I kiss her softly. "And besides, imagine how pretty you'll look standing next to me." But only if you want me to; please tell me you want me to be with you.

"Paauul," she whines and back-hands my chest. "Ow – that hurt!"

"Oh, baby, let me kiss it better."

"This is all your fault."

"Yeah, probably. Go back to sleep." Yeah if I wasn't a wolf, you wouldn't be here. Or I wouldn't be in your bed baby. Sure, it is **all **my fault.

"How long can you stay?"

"About another hour or so and then I have to go. There's a pack meeting tomorrow morning at Sam's. They may be wondering where I am." I am so fucking comfortable here I go back to sleep.

8888888888888

I wake up. I have to go, but she is holding onto me and it is breaking my fucking heart to make her let go. I cover her up and tuck her in with a kiss goodnight. She stirs like she already misses me. She actually says my name. Fuck she talks in her sleep; that shit could blow us wide open. I write her a note and leave it on the pillow where she will see it. I don't think Charlie is the kind of parent who will go into her room, so I should be safe.

I sneak down the stairs and out the front door and run un-phased back to La push. No way am I accidentally sharing that memory with anyone. I get home and wish to fuck I didn't have to, but I scrub myself raw in the shower. For her sake and mine I have to eradicate her scent. It damn near kills me to do it, but I do not need Jake to go postal on me.

Pack meeting is the usual eat fest; I try really hard to get more than my fair share but it's hard with a pack of ravenous wolves.

Leah grabs me at some stage and quizzes me about my behaviour at school. Why I turned all the girls down. I tell her it is fucking none of her business, but she pushes. In the end I tell her I have got some fucking venereal disease or some such shit and I can't fuck anything for a couple of days until the rash goes and the course of antibiotics is finished. I tell her I don't want anyone to know and she kills herself laughing at the thought of what skanky holes I have been dipping my wick into. Yeah I'm pussy whipped.

I am now completely burning my already bad reputation for Bella Swan and I am not even sure if she actually wants to be with me like_ that_. Fuck if this doesn't work out, I will have to travel further than Port Angeles to get a fuck. Hell I could run to Canada for one, but if Bella rejects me now, I am not even sure if I could get it up for anyone else. Plus that heart attack shit has got to be a thousand times worse now. I am so fucked.

Leah believed that pathetic excuse and I would bet she will tell the rest of the pack. I can just imagine her gloating on that one. Not fucking Leah has all kinds of penalties for me. She is just a bitch with a side order of nasty to me. Fuck I hope this works out. It's a pathetic lie but it's the best I can do under the circumstances.

Sam might be right about this becoming a huge cluster fuck.

Maybe if I had never told Sam about it in the first place. Yeah, but then I wouldn't have an Alpha order to keep a lid on my head when I phase. I just can't see how any of this is going to work out. I am _so _fucked.

I go home and do some domestic shit that I can't put it off, but I have to call Bella and make sure she is okay.

She sounds so hopeful but then she goes all quiet. It's never good when a woman goes quiet on the phone. I try to find out what's wrong and then she says that Woman Word "Fine"; 'I'm fine'. I have gotta fix this; whatever the fuck is wrong. So I push her to let me come over after four and she agrees but she sounds confused.

"Sure, sure," she says.

I just can't help myself, "Really spending too much time with Jacob," I tell her.


	12. The Cure for fine

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 12: The cure for fine**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing- **

**remember children, safe sex always**

I'm almost ready to head off when Embry sees me and asks what I am doing with Bella's bike. What's it to you dick wad? I swallow my retort down and tell him Jake worked it out with Bella to loan it to me for a while so I can get to these English tutoring sessions. I try not to look too innocent; that shit is a dead giveaway. I should look like I'm enjoying being near her without Jake, but not like I have managed to get in her pants.

Fuck this shit is _hard_. I never gave a shit who saw me doing who in the past. Even ex boyfriends didn't scare me. Personally I would be happy with a fuck or a fight; either would scratch my itch and both? Icing on the cake. But now I am trying to be 'sneaky'. Fuck this shit. But I have to do it for her. If she wants to be open I'll do it, but if she wants to sneak, I'll do that too.

I knock on the door just in case anyone is watching. It's always the little things that give you away, you get comfortable with someone and you behave differently; you know, take something from their hand without thanking them, that kind of shit. Not speak to them at all like Leah picked up on at the bonfire.

I smirk at her while we make small talk about knocking on doors and bike helmets. She tells me Charlie is on late shift; excellent more time for me. Now let's find out what she is panicking about now.

"Now tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong; everything's fine," she says.

I wince. I hate that fucking word.

"Fine?" I explain, "Whenever a woman says 'fine' it means the exact opposite."

"Oh, yeah right. You know all about women Mr. I-am-really-experienced

…and…and…"

Right I have to snap her out of this; sex; that'll do it. Come to poppa my little firecracker. Vin voice. Need the Vin voice.

"I know about you, I know that you want me to take you upstairs and devour you," I lower my voice and whisper at her. I can hear her heart jump. Gotcha!

"D…devour?" her voice was shaky.

"You want me to eat you baby?" I don't wait for her answer; fuck me if she says no. I have got to get her into bed fast, so I kiss her and run up the stairs again. She damn near rips her clothes off. I swear I have never seen Bella Swan move so fast and _not_ fall over. Amazing what she can do when she wants to. I lie her down on the bed and pull her hips to the edge, to make it easier for me, bit less strain on the neck.

I kneel between her thighs and slip them over my shoulders. She smells so excited and I know she is going to panic again the second I touch her 'there', guarantee that is what she would call it; so I pin her down with one forearm across her stomach so that she can't get away and then give one long slow lick from her ass to her clit. Wow she tastes good. I pray to whatever gods are listening that I am the only one to ever do this to her. She's mine. She tastes _so_ good.

I look up and she has actually covered her own eyes with her hands; naïve much? Fucking adorable. I challenge myself to make her come at least twice before I slide into home. So I eat her out; nibbling on her inner lips and her clit. I trap that little piece of flesh under my tongue and stroke it until wetness runs down my chin. Fast and slow, then hard and soft. Then I work my tongue in and out of her like_ it _was fucking her. She is just moaning now; so I step it up, return to licking her clit and slide my fingers inside.

See if I can find her G spot. I curl them up and suck on her clit at the same time. Bingo! She crushes my ears with her thighs and falls apart. Welcome to the world of Waggener baby.

One down one to go. She's pretty sensitive now so it doesn't take much to get her off again. Her thighs are quivering against my shoulders. She is twisting and trying to lift her hips off the bed, but I have pinned her down well; she can't get away from me. She is shuddering and begging me to stop. I lift my head up and wipe my hand down my face. I give her my best smile; more to come baby. Now what was that freaky move? Some animal name; peacock, pheasant? Oh yeah the ostrich one. If I hang her upside down I might get some blood flowing to her brain; make her think clearer. Worth a try. I almost laugh out loud at the thought.

So I hoist her legs up into the air. She flails on the bed, she has no idea what I am doing; only her shoulders are still touching the mattress. I grip her legs together and slide into home. Oh yes…she's so wet I just slide right on in… she feels so tight like this…its amazing...it sends a feeling like ripples through my whole body. I hold both her legs in one hand; bonus for big handed werewolves, and I stroke her thigh with my other hand. Still got those freaky electric jolt things happening every time I touch her.

I am so happy. This, right here is my new happy place. I swear I am going to do this to her every day for the rest of my life. Maybe in a different position; yeah one for every day of the year. I reckon I could manage that. Keep the good old missionary position for Christmas or something. Gotta be traditional at that time of the year. She is wailing again, every time I stroke out I am dragging the head of my cock across her G spot.

I suck on her toes. I swear even they taste good, but after a while I realize she can't handle this for much longer so I decide for the big finish. I open her legs and fall onto her and make a few long deep strokes, grinding the base of my cock into her and then finish with a snap of my hips. We both come as I slam into her clit. Fuck, sex with Bella is so unlike sex with any other woman; I don't think it is just the bareback issue; there just seems to be something extra. Definitely must be the imprint working there, even if she doesn't know about it.

She has got her arms locked around my neck and her legs curled around my hips. She is just clinging to me and I kind of like it. When we both get our breath back she manages to ask me what we just did.

I resist the urge to tell her that was the cure for "Fine".

Tail of the Ostrich I tell her. She recognizes it as a Kama Sutra move. Fuck I just reminded her of all the_ other_ women – again. I am such an idiot. Okay change of scene; distract her. Shower. Fuck I imagine fucking her in the shower and get all Vin voice on her again.


	13. Hand maiden

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 13: Hand maiden**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

"We could practice Suspended Congress. Shower walls are good for that.," I say in the Vin voice, attempting to distract her from remembering my sordid past.

She slaps me. Ooh, spank me – yeah! She promises to keep her hands off me. Yeah right, baby. You just try. I mack on her the whole way to the bathroom; yeah I can't keep my hands off her either.

She notices me getting another stiffy, but when I brag about werewolf regen powers she has no idea what I am talking about. Santa, I know I asked for a virgin, but honestly; she knows nothing! It's adorable. Fuck me I have got to stop saying that! So I tell her I could make love to her all night. FUCK- I said 'make love'; girls pick up on that shit.

Then she tells me I am so big; adorable – fuck said it again.

She has another one of her panic attacks when I tell this is half hard. She's staring at me and that just makes me hot. I can feel my cock move and she licks her lips.

"Can I…you know…can I touch it?" she asks. Damn nearly cream myself at the thought. Bella wants to be a hand maiden? I manage to nod; lucky 'cause I think I have lost the power of speech.

She reaches out so slowly; man that looks so good; her little hand is so white against my skin. I damn near lose it the second she grabs me, I have to lean on the wall. She tells me she doesn't know what to do. Yeah, Fuckward's stone cock has never made it into your hot little hand has it baby? I cover her hand with mine and show her. Just knowing _she _is doing this to me makes me rock hard. She is pretty tentative; like she thinks she can hurt me.

She's not very skilled, but like I care; I get her to use some of her fucking strawberry whatever as lube. Oh yeah; that's better. Then I tell her not to forget the balls – too many women do you know? There is nothing like the feeling when someone sucks on your balls. I've got my eyes closed, but I can just tell she has no idea what I am talking about. I leave it to her imagination and the next second I feel her roll my balls in her hand; oh, yeah – that's what I'm talking about. I moan when she mixes it up and rubs her thumb right across my slit. I lose it when she gets faster and I come all over her boobs. That is the best sight in the world.

I suddenly realise she is probably going to panic again, but then she gets this really weird look on her face and she almost rubs it into her skin. Fuck me – I could come again at the thought of that. She may not know she is my imprint, but something within her_ does_.

"I don't want to wash it off," she says. Great wolf in the sky I almost blurt out everything when she says that. I cover by sucking her face off and dragging her under the water.

Then she laughs at me and tells me she had me by the balls. Fuck, she is going to lead me around by them for the rest of my life, _but I can't tell her that._

"Yeah…yeah you did," is as much as I can manage. Then the hot water runs out and we leap out and towel off. She laughs again.

"Oh, I was just wondering; if the point of the shower was to not smell like me. How the hell are you going to explain your...you know..." she gestures at my cock, "... smelling like my body wash?" she says.

Fucking adorable; she can jack me off, but she can't even say the word 'penis'. I bet she can't even think it. **Fuck** I said adorable** again.**

I tell her she is getting pretty good at being sneaky and then she says something really unexpected. She tells me I could have stolen her matching lotion to jerk off with. I just crack up because I would so have done that. Just the thought of doing it anyway makes me go all Vin voice on her again.

"Not that anyone really smells my dick, but I can use it to jerk off with and dream of you," I tell her and she shivers. Fuck yeah.

Then before I lose it and fuck her again, I remind her we are supposed to be studying English.

We sit at the table to do some work and I tell her not to text me; any body can read those things and reply pretending to be you. She's so naïve, she has never thought about that. We get onto tribal politics somehow. She tells me she wants to know about the council view of her and fuck this shit, I find myself telling her. Must be this stupid imprint. I know it is going to hurt her but I have to tell her, you know.

She feels sorry for Black; her best friend. Jeez girl, I wish I could show you the inside of his head; it ain't pretty and it ain't best friend behaviour. BFF, I don't think so.

"I didn't go to him to get laid," she tells me. Hell no you didn't; just as well because he _so_ wants to be there.

I smile at her, "Yeah, but he doesn't know that." Thank the fuck because my face would just be hamburger mince. I try to convince her to dump his sorry ass hard, so that he gets the message and she says she will try, but I can see she really does care for him. Wonder why Taha Aki thought she wasn't good enough for Jacob?

Maybe I have better breeding prospects; yeah something like that. She and I will make little super pups; oh they'll be so cute. I am _not _going to say it…

Then she notices I am fucking daydreaming about our sons and offers to feed me. Yep it's official, I_ love_ this woman. I can't help myself; I pull her onto my lap and kiss her.

But then the phone rings and speak of the devil…cock blocked by Black… via phone. What are the odds?

"Oh, hey, Jake," she says and rolls her eyes at me. She mouths "again," and I snort.

I can hear him ask if there is someone there.

"Yeah…its Paul… he needed some help on his Jane Eyre essay. You remember I'm tutoring him? I was just saying to him that I wanted to see you tomorrow. Are you busy?"

I make a thumbs-up sign at her for encouragement. 'Dump him, dump him' I am internally chanting.

She hangs up after some chat and keeps talking about Jake. I can tell by the look on her face that she really likes him. Plus, she has known him since he was what, four years old? Playing in the sandpit together; one of Jake's memories of her. He has done a huge amount for her. She might well have killed herself after Fuckward left, if not for him, so I guess I owe him that. He will always be part of her life. I just have to deal with it.

"Jake and Bells?" fucking adora … no… I didn't say that word.

I fill her in on the pack gossip while she cooks. She is trying hard to find out stuff about me but I fend her off. There is no way she needs to know that shit; it's just too depressing. She might think even less of me if she knows I'm pity-boy on the rez. Abandoned by his own family; takes charity from others; on a reservation?. Can't get much lower than that and what prospects do I have, now I am a freaking werewolf and can never escape the rez? Fuck my life.


	14. Alpha order

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 14: Alpha order**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

**Sunday**

I spend the morning on lone patrol. I dunno what Sam is up to but he has me pulling double shifts and patrolling solo. I suppose he is helping me because there is less chance of my mind blabbing away about Bella if I patrol alone, but it seems weird. Gives me less time to spend with her. He gives me the signal to finish up and I head home.

I phase as I step out of the forest and run up to my back door naked; a naked me is a heck of a lot less scary than a wolf me. Or maybe not. The pack is all getting more experienced with phasing. We all have less shredded clothing incidents. I have had less in the last week too. Guess I can thank Bella for that as well. Wow; there's a thought, fucking Bella is good anger therapy for me. I laugh to myself. Maybe I could convince her that she can't drop me as a toy boy because I need the 'therapy'? Daily sessions at the very least. Fuck I'd even pay her to do it.

It is probably just because I am near her; but I could argue it is the sex. Yeah I could talk her into that. Hey maybe she could pay me? Yeah, that would work and then I would have an income too.

I am still thinking of her as I get in the shower and then the combination of her and shower gets me all hot and bothered. Take care of it myself this time. Doesn't take long; all I have to do is remember the look on her face when she nearly rubbed my jizz into her skin. My inner wolf loves that image.

Afterwards I head down to the beach and throw a football around with Jared and Seth for a while. Lucky no-one is watching us, we can all pull some pretty freaky physical moves. Hey maybe we should all be pro football players? There's a money making career. But yeah, I know, the tribe freaking secrecy pact and the fact that we can't protect it if we are not _here,_ blows all that out again. Fuck my life.

Sometimes I feel _more_ sorry for Seth; he is too young for all this shit. And he really could be a good ball player. He takes me home for lunch; gotta love that kid. He is still like a big puppy, all gangly and trying to grow into his feet. Fuck I hope we don't get any more wolves younger than Seth, that would really suck for them. Between the two of us, we empty out the Clearwater's fridge. Leah will probably beat him up later for that. Jeez I would hate to pay Sue's grocery bill.

I don't go looking for Jake because I know Bella is visiting him today. Me and everyone else on the rez heard that truck chug up the road ages ago. I am praying she uses some of those wicked language skills she has to dump him hard, so he stops pining after her. Needs to be done, for both their sakes. Yeah and if she wants to be with me, that would just be a bonus. Still reckon Jake would beat me up though. Any excuse will do.

**Sunday night**

I get home to find a note from Sam stuck to my door. He wants to see me face to face tonight in the clearing behind his house at 11pm. What the fuck? It's probably something to do with this cluster fuck I have got myself into, but there is only one way to find out. I spend the rest of the time finishing my essay on Jane Eyre and her tortured fucking life.

I eat some left over pizza and anything else I can find. I try to clean up after myself. It's been almost a year so I suppose mommie dearest isn't coming back. Maybe Sam's meeting is something to do with that. Remind myself to buy groceries sometime.

I can't resist, I have to hear her voice. So I call Bella. She makes some joke about calling me literate instead of sexy; heck only to you baby. I tell her I might have trouble seeing her, with double shifts and Sam meetings.

I resist the urge to slide my hand down my jeans. She tells me she saw Jake. I want to ask but don't. I guess I don't want to look like I'm pressuring her. She thinks aloud about vampires and asks if Sam is picking on me. Hell yeah – constantly.

I tell her about the essay and try to push to see her again but she goes all weird on me. Jeez 'fine' was better than silence. And then she says she has to go. Go? Go and do what?

What the hell happened with Jake today? Don't tell me he finally worked up the guts to tell her he is madly in love with her? She doesn't want to go out with him I know that. But I worry. This is probably all to do with my reputation as she called it. It's freaking her out that she is attracted to me. Maybe she thinks she got what she wanted and she has to dump me now? Oh fuck no; I could not deal with that! She did just want me to pop her cherry and I have certainly done that. Please tell me she is not going to dump me.

I park in front of the TV until close to 11 and then jog off to Sam's. I shove my essay into the box at school on the way, I find Sam in the clearing and he is looking pretty serious. Deepwater looks black today. He doesn't muck around with small talk or anything.

He goes all alpha dog on me. Pulls his shoulders back and assumes the voice: _Paul Waggener by order of the tribal council and the pack, you will not approach, see or talk to Bella Swan. You will not phone her, text her or write to her. If she comes to you, you must be chaperoned._

Fuck no – he has sewn up every loophole.

"Fuck Sam; no no no…" I fall to the ground. The order feels like a real weight slamming down on my shoulders. I am on my knees in the dirt. I manage to look up at Sam's face. He doesn't look happy about this. I guess the council can order him to do shit too.

"Sam she loves me; I know she loves me," I plead; I fucking beg.

"I'm sorry Paul," he says "no-one believes you imprinted. You can't have…the way you behave…." He looks like he shouldn't tell me but he goes on, "one of the Cullens has been sighted; the council believes Bella is a weak link. They believe she will go back to them."

"Go back? Edward Cullen left her alone in the forest Sam, you SAW it! She nearly died, you of all people know that, please Sam," I wail.

He just says nothing.

"She can't go back to them Sam; she can't…it would kill me…," I just fall over on my side and try to curl up into a ball. Fuck it hurts _so_ much. "…she loves me…I know she does…" and then I just cry. I can't help myself. I sob like a fucking baby.

Sam looks sympathetic but he doesn't know what to do with me, so he just turns and walks away. Fuck it looks like he is carrying half the weight of this order too. Sucks to be the alpha. At least he gave me some privacy.

I lie in the dirt and sob my fucking heart out.

Clusterfuck and it has taken a week.


	15. Kitchen capers

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 15: Kitchen capers**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing - even though she didn't get to this chapter**

**I reply to every review (No, really I do) - so if you ask me a question and don't have PM enabled, I can't reply - your choice**

**Monday**

I can't go to school; I will totally fucking lose it and beat the living shit out of some snot nosed kid who looks at me sideways. I run. I just run through the woods. I don't want to phase and share a single thought with any of my alleged 'pack'; my family; my friends –yeah right. Sam doesn't order me to do the patrols he had me down for. I am just losing it big time. That is as big an apology as he is going to give me.

When I am not running I am parked in front of the TV barely even watching what is on.

She is all I can think about; they can't stop me thinking about her, but that almost makes it worse. She doesn't call me. Maybe I was right about her wanting to back off.

Fuck my life.

**Tuesday**

She still doesn't contact me.

I find myself jacking off every time I think of her until I am raw. Everything reminds me of her; my kitchen; the coffee mugs; the shower – I am so fucked.

**Wednesday**

I am not eating well and I can't sleep properly. This is fucking killing me. I am being torn apart between the pull of the imprint and the weight of the alpha order.

She doesn't contact me.

**Thursday**

I can _feel _her; I can feel how distressed she is.

She wants me, I know she does. I wasn't sure before, but now I can feel her.

I think about going to see her and get hit with a pain so hard I have to stop. Fuck I could get through that imprint heart attack shit before. I just need to want to _badly _enough.

**Friday**

I swear I run halfway to Canada. I am actually trying to think of ways to kill myself. I would have to be torn apart, not even sure i would drown properly. Indestructible werewolf here. Can't even try Charlie's favourite of being scraped off the road in a motorcycle accident. Besides that would damage Bella's bike – fuck me… _Bella._

I am out running and I swear my cock has come down on the side of the imprint and swung me towards her place. It wasn't a conscious decision but I find myself in the forest at the back of her house.

If I think about this I will die so I just act.

It's raining and I can hear her heartbeat in the kitchen; but not Charlie's; good.

I damn near rip the back door off its hinges. She's there; right there in the kitchen. I can smell her, I can see her, but I still have to touch her. I force myself across the room and grab her. I'm not gentle. The second I touch her I feel a little better. I am fighting with myself and I say "fuck the order." I don't realize I said it out loud until later.

She squeaks out my name as if she is not sure it is really me. I'm not sure it is really me either.

I grab her and try to suck her face off. My hands are tangled in her hair and I am wild. She is mine and I have to have her.

I think for a second she is going to fight me off. Fuck, I didn't think of that. And then she_ snaps._

She starts to clutch at me as if she is trying to get me closer to her. She is biting at my tongue in her mouth and sucking at me. That she needs me as badly as I need her, just sets me on fire. I need to fuck her here and now. I pick her up and put her ass on the counter. No time for the bedroom. I need to be buried in her now.

I just tear her shirt apart and I make a noise; fuck I'm _sobbing_. I have missed her so badly. Thank the fuck she has a skirt on because jeans would have slowed me down too much. I am shoving it up her thighs and trying to reach her panties. I feel her scrabbling at my cock; thank the fuck she wants me as badly as I want her.

I am biting her neck like an animal and I tear her undies apart. I can hear her moan and that shit goes straight to my cock; it feels like it is twice its normal size. She says "please." Oh fuck…hang on baby this is going to be rough… and I slam into her.

I don't stop; I am just pounding into her. Fuck, I banged her head into the cupboards but I can't stop. She is scratching and clawing at my back now. I have to go deeper. I want to bury myself inside her. I lift her knee and spread her right out for me. I am bottoming out with every stroke and she is moaning as I slam into her cervix. It hurts so good. She is pulling my hair and I just keep pounding away. I am grunting now as she wails and wraps her leg around me. She is just trying to hang on.

"Oh, God…ah…yes…oh yes…Paul…," she is shaking from the effort and then she pulls my mouth towards her and bites me.

Fuck me. I groan and drive into her harder. She just screams my name as I slam into her one last time and I explode into her. I keep coming and coming as if I want to fill her up; as if it is my last chance to do so. I shudder and bury my face in her neck. I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry for everything.

I wait. I am suddenly frightened she is going to tear me new one.

"Paul…what the hell…," she asks me. Fuck like I know what I am doing? Oh she is going to panic again. I murmur some kind of apology but then she surprises me; she grabs at me and holds me. She doesn't want me to leave. My heart nearly does a fucking back flip.

She shouts at me, "Hey…you…didn't you hear me say please?" I love this woman; I seriously love her. She tells me to stay with her. I can't stay away from you, are you kidding? I feel her kiss the side of my face.

I try to apologise again but she won't let me.

"Don't apologise; that was amazing. Well except for the headache from where you banged my head on the cupboards." She rubs at her head "I thought the headache is supposed to stop the sex," she giggles. I must look horrified. I slammed her head into the cupboards pretty hard. Might have trouble explaining why she has concussion at casualty. That would bring on a Black attack.

We get ourselves back together, well at least I do, Bella's clothes are torn apart. Fuck I didn't even get her bra off.

"Well if that's what I get when you don't call me for a week …," she nags.

**A week**; no way could I have made it through a week. "Five days," I interrupt "That was five days."

"Wow," We look at each other. Wow five days. If that doesn't tell her what is going on, I don't know what the hell will. _Maybe if you had manned up and told her about the imprint before this fucking alpha order Waggener. _Yeah shutup already.

She hugs me and reminds me that Charlie is packing; I may be wild but I am never stupid. I knew he wasn't at home I tell her.

"My legs; I think you might have to carry me up the stairs."

"I always carry you up the stairs," I tell her. Hell I will carry her everywhere for the rest of her life, if we can get out of this cluster fuck that I have got us into.

"Yeah I've noticed that."

I get her upstairs and we just hug. She strokes my hair. Fuck I could do this all day.

"Paul," she ventures "Can you tell me what is going on? Is this one of those weird things where you can't speak to me?"

And just like that I get slammed by the order again and I can't answer her. She tells me we will work it out together. Fuck I hope so; before this shit kills me.

"Funny," she commented quietly "We found things to match our life in Jane Eyre and now we're doing Romeo and Juliet?"

"Two households, both alike in dignity…," I recite the first lines.

"I prefer to think of you as Mr. Rochester; at least they got a happy ending."

I snort, "Yeah right; didn't he go blind?"

She sends me off to the shower and says she will get changed and tidy up a bit. She must be worried about Charlie coming in.

I stand in the shower that smells so much like her and feel like my entire world is crumbling. I don't know what to do or how to get out of this. I am royally fucked. I imprint; I fuck it up by rejecting her; then she wants me, but not all of me, just my cock; then I get ordered to stay away from her. If you wrote a book nobody would believe it. It's a fucking soap opera.

I put my tattered shorts back on and head down to the kitchen. Fuck she had better open a window or get the bleach out; it smells like sex in here. I can't resist, I hug her from behind just to touch her. I let out a sigh like my fucking heart is breaking; I think it almost is.

And then she knocks me sideways. She tells me it must be an alpha order. I mean she uses those exact words. I can't move; I can't even blink. She seems to know that.

Bella Swan, you are _so good_ with weird. And so smart; have I ever told you how smart you are? So she tells me she is just going to call me and see me because they can't stop her. Oh baby, they will _try_ to stop you.

I have to fight for her; I have to. And then she cements it for me.

"I can't go five days like that again. I nearly went mad," she says.

I look tortured; you nearly went mad? Fuck, **me too.**

"Please, Bella…don't…just…," I try to tell her Sam and the council have it all sewn up, but she is unstoppable and my jaw is just locked shut tight. I remember admiring how tenacious she was before, when they ordered Jake to stay away from her and she didn't stay away from him. I love you; you are my imprint. I am trying to tell her with my eyes. But she is babbling on about her cunning plan.

She has lots of ideas and then she puts her fingers on my lips and I manage to kiss them. I can't even write her a fucking note.

"I will find lots of reasons to help Emily and visit Jake and be in La Push; maybe that will work?" she looks hopeful; I just shrug. Fucked if I know. It may be worth a try. At the very least I get to see her, to hear her. It may be enough to keep me sane.

She hugs me and tells me I should leave before Charlie shoots me. I did think of that but Charlie has seen enough of the shit in my life; he doesn't need to do that for me too. Put the dog out of its misery.


	16. Bad puppy

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 16: Bad puppy**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing – go read her stories and leave her nice reviews too**

As I run back to the rez I can feel the order tightening up on me again. Like I somehow managed to skirt around it before. Fuck knows how. Guess I wasn't thinking about it.

I scrub myself raw again. I am sick of living in the shower. I am sick of erasing her from my body. I want to smell like her. I want her to smell like me. I want her to be mine. I want all this shit sorted out so I can live my life.

I buy some groceries and try to act normal. Probably do a better job of it than I have for the last few days. Being close to her has kind of recharged my batteries you know?

Fuck my life.

**Saturday**

I get through Saturday. I am seriously shirking on the pack duties but I don't give a fuck. I suppose I should, if I can get Sam on my side he might argue with the council for me. Somehow I don't think doing extra patrols is going to do it now. Sam and I are pretty pissed off with each other right now. Fuck I am no good at this politics shit and I have alienated 90% of the board members by literally fucking with their families. Except the Clearwaters; I snort to myself, I never did go there.

The pack is all avoiding me like the plague. They have been told to chaperone me if Bella shows up but they don't know why. Jake is starting to suspect that I did something to hurt her. Like I could hurt her, well not deliberately. The rest of the time they leave me to sulk alone.

Emily is trying to look after me. It is so sweet and typical for the pack 'mum'. I have no idea how much she knows. It occurs to me that I fucked this right up from the start. If I had got Emily onside she would have fought for me. She has a lot of influence on Sam; probably more than he realises. She backed the imprint with Sam against Leah and after he almost literally tore her face off. _You fucked up Waggener_. Yeah let me count the ways...

I keep asking myself why I rejected the imprint. I didn't really know Bella. I didn't know how pretty, how smart, how funny and how sexy she is. I want her…I want her _so badly._

**Sunday**

I go for a run and overhear Jake and Embry talking. Jake wants to know what this weird chaperone order is about. He asks Embry if I hurt Bella. Thank the fuck Embry says no because Bella is not frightened of me. Embry says it is something to do with the council but he doesn't know what. Just as well, Jake beating me to a bloody pulp would just make my week.

Emily is feeding me sandwiches when I hear Bella's truck coming. I almost have a coronary. I fight everything to stay sitting at the table. I can't move. Emily gives me a weird look but leaves me alone. Within half an hour Bella and Jake walk in the door.

I can hear her heart jump at the sight of me; why can't everyone else? Maybe I am just so attuned to her now. She says hello and manages to rub me on the shoulder as she walks past. I keep my arm under the table and stroke her leg. It takes everything in me to just manage that simple gesture.

She tells me she is coming out on Tuesday at 4; she doesn't ask so I don't_ have_ to say no. She gives the impression that 'no' is not an option. I love this girl.

Is that one touch enough to get me through Monday? It will have to be, I am not going to get any more. I worry. She doesn't look well. Can other people see that or is it just me because of the imprint? Maybe she is not sleeping well. Maybe she is having the same fucked up dreams that I am.

She leaves me messages on my phone. I keep playing them over and over and jerking off to the sound of her voice. So fucked up in _so_ many ways. They are not even sexy messages. Maybe one day we can work on phone sex Bella? But only if we can get out of this hole I have managed to dig for us both.

She arrives for our tutoring session and kisses me quickly. We sit down like good little children. She holds my hand in the middle of the table. I could just cry; this is killing me. I hear Embry coming and have to let go of her hand.

I feel better when she is here but I can feel her getting more confused and upset.

I am having the weirdest dreams. I am lost in the woods fucking looking for something. Am I looking for Bella? Is she looking for me? I never get lost in the woods; I'm a freaking werewolf for fucks sake! They must be Bella's dreams and I am getting a double feature.

She doesn't come out again.

I understand why, but I am this close to losing it so badly. I am in the kitchen looking for something to eat when I catch sight of the calendar and realise it is a whole year since my parents pissed off. That just knocks me sideways.

I find myself raiding my money jar and heading for the liquor store. I buy three bottles of tequila with all the money I have saved for the last few months and start walking through the forest. Drinking as I go.

By nightfall I am outside Forks and heading like a fucking homing beacon for her. It isn't a conscious decision. I phase at one stage and run around in a fucking circle pretending to be Quil. Chase my tail. Makes me dizzier. I remember the kitchen fuck and decide I want some more of that. I phase back, get dressed and open the last bottle.

I try to stay quiet. Maybe I can sleep on the porch and be near her but I am too pissed and I drop the last empty bottle on the step. Charlie and Bella come out to investigate. I am so dead. Charlie starts yelling at me; nothing I haven't heard before. At least he doesn't shoot me.

Bella looks so distraught. I try to hug her but I miss and fall on the floor. I try to hug her foot instead. She and Charlie are fighting over me; now I am fucking up more of her life for her. She wins. Fuck; formidable woman. I get carried inside. Yay, go me.

I get a nice lie down on their couch and then it gets better, Bella pulls my head onto her lap. Charlie says something about it being a year and I try to tell Bella but between the order and the tequila all I can manage is, "Left me".

Charlie understands though; I think I like that guy. He launches into my whole sorry fucking history. Ouch; sounds bad when he puts it like that. Bella is crying. I can't move. I stay where I am. Oh baby, don't cry for me; I'm okay. I'm okay _now._

She tries to apologise for wanting to fuck me; hey not necessary baby. Believe me, it made my year. I manage to tell her she is mine. I just haven't worked out how we will work all this out yet.

She tells me stay; like a bad puppy. I stay. I'm happy here, close to her. I'd be happier in her bed but Charlie really would shoot me.

**AN: this was always the weakest part of the story in my opinion, but never mind, it is what it is and I can't change it now if I have to fit with her POV. Oh well – sigh.**


	17. Meet Jacob's fist

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 17: Meet Jacob's fist**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing - and inspiring me to write in the first place**

I wake up on the lounge before dawn and think I should get the fuck out of Dodge. I can't risk going upstairs. I can't even write her a note. Stupid fucking orders.

I head back to the rez and go to the beach for a swim to clear my head. I sleep for a few hours in a hollow behind the sand dunes. I feel much better. Thank the fuck for not having hangovers, but now I have blown all my savings. Maybe I could have bought Bella a present or something, might have been a better way to spend my money.

I am still thinking about that when I walk out of the forest behind my house and meet Jacob's fist. What the fuck?

He is furious. He is screaming at me that he knew I was up to something.

"What the fuck Jake?"

"I was on patrol last night," he screams at me, "You phased - I saw you hurt her."

I'm confused. Oh fuck no, he saw me remember the kitchen incident. Fuck me I am dead.

"It's not what you think Jake," I try to tell him, but because of the fucking order I made Sam give me to not discuss it with the pack, _I can't tell him_ she is my imprint.

**Cluster fuck** – yep Sam was right. He told me I would fuck it up all by myself.

"Ask her Jake, ask_ her_," I am screaming but he just smacks me in the face hard enough to break my nose. Boy,_ now_ I am wishing he had Bella's mobile number. Blood is gushing everywhere and I firmly believe I may be about to die. I try to send Bella my love.

Then he starts on me. He is just giving off waves of alpha wolf power and I would have trouble fighting him even if I wanted to do so. I have taken beatings before, but not from a very pissed off werewolf. I don't think he will actually kill me. I know the best thing to do is wait it out and try to protect myself. I curl up and try to protect my vital organs. Thank the fuck he doesn't phase, he would tear me apart without a second thought. He loves Bella, I never realised quite how much until now. He may beat me up again later when he finds out about the imprint.

He is working solidly on my face when I think I hear Bella's truck; I must be hallucinating. I hear my arm break. Fuck, _that hurt._

Then I hear her voice. She is screaming at him to leave me alone. I think I might cry.

"Jake!" she screams at him, "Stop!"

He says something, I don't care what anymore.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing?" That's my girl.

He tells her and hits me again. _Ouch._

Bella is still screaming. Oh now she's screaming at Embry and Quil. Help me baby, please.

"Jake if you hit him again I will never speak to you ever again," she says. "You will put him down and you will not hit him again." Jake didn't move. "So help me Jake if you love me, let him go." Wow, _that_ got his attention.

Oh thank the fuck; I can breathe for a second. Ouch no I can't, he's broken my ribs. I think I will just sit here for a minute. Not falling over is the best I can manage at the moment.

There is silence until I hear Sam and Quil came running around the corner.

Sam asks Jake what is going on.

"This piece of shit hurt Bella," Jacob is so angry he can barely get the words out.

"Bella?" asks Sam.

"I don't know what Jacob thinks he saw, but Paul has never hurt me," Bella says. Well I made you scream, but that doesn't count.

"He phased last night and I saw him remember slamming your head into the kitchen cupboards!"

"Jake we were having sex," she almost whispers it at him. Oh baby, now is not the time to be embarrassed about sex words. I have got to break her out of that, and fast.

"Sex?" poor Jake, he _so_ wanted to be there first. Sorry man.

"Yeah, it was a bit rough but I was right there with him. You couldn't see that? We've been having sex for weeks. Not that it is really anybody's business…," she pauses, "…but it appears that it is."

"I am glad you are here Sue, as a council representative. I want some answers," Bella says.

Excellent a council witness to my shame. My day is just getting better and better.

Sneaky Bella has been moving slowly closer and finally she reaches me. I lean on her leg and whimper; fuck me – I _whimper_. Baby I hurt all over. And then my smart girl puts it all together.

"Perhaps Sam would like to explain why he gave an Alpha order to Paul to stay way from his imprint?" She sounds so sure of herself, I could kiss her.

"Imprint?" Jake is devastated; he lets out a roar. I swear I hear his heart break. How he didn't phase, I sure as hell don't know.

I hear someone else arrive; I am having trouble seeing out of my eyes. Is it Leah? – fuck no.

"Dude," Quil breathes, "That sucks." Yeah; poor Jacob.

"I want that order lifted," demands Bella.

"Done," says Sam. Lift the other one too Sam; I might have been able to tell Jake before he rearranged my face, if not for that stupid order. Cluster fuck, yeah yeah I know, already.

"Five days he lasted; before he damn near killed himself to fight the order and come to me. Thank God he did because I was seriously in trouble too," Bella says. "I should think you would know how much pain that would cause us both Sam. Why do you doubt the strength of our imprint; not good enough compared to yours?" Ouch baby. Sam is on our side; well at least he tries to be.

"Paul? Care to explain?" Sam asks me.

Order Sam; can't talk because of the fucking order. Assuming I could say anything anyway. I must make some kind of noise. He ignores me anyway.

"It happened months ago," Sam explains. "We were following Jacob, waiting for him to phase. He saw you one day at the rez and imprinted. But he fought it; he hated you; the girl who ran with vampires; the 'leech lover'. He was so angry. He made me give him an order not to admit to it, so the pack wouldn't know. He stayed away from you. He threw himself into bed with any woman that would take him. I started to doubt that he had imprinted. How he could do that to himself, I didn't know."

Jeez thanks Sam, it sounds pretty bad when you put it like that.

"Sorry Paul," Sam realised, "I have to lift the first order too, you can't talk about it."

No-one says anything for a minute. Sam continues, "Then you confronted us, that day with Jake. He was still so angry with you. He was in your face and you slapped him; his imprint slapped him. Any wonder he lost control and phased in front of you? But it seemed like you were unaffected by him. Maybe you hated him too? And then he opens his door one day to find you...," he pauses for a second, "... and you ask him to have sex with you."

No; that sound right there; _that _was the sound of Jake's heart breaking. Sorry buddy.

"How did you know that?" Bella asks. Shit baby he could smell it. He got a big whiff of fresh cream you.

"I forced him to tell me. I knew he had been denying you but I could smell you all over him." Thanks Sam.

I can feel Bella's distress so I rub her leg. She pats me on the head. Good dog.

"But after a week or so the council instructed me to order him to leave you alone. He wasn't to go see you or to speak to you and you were not to be alone with him. The pack still didn't know about the imprint, " Sam adds.

Yeah, I want to know why the hell the council did that. Please explain Sue.

Bella asks, "So what is the council's excuse? Am I not good enough for him? Is he not good enough for me? I know I'm not good enough for Jake. What on earth would make the council interfere in an imprinting? I thought imprinting was the sacred cow of the pack." And those are all very good questions baby. So answers now, please Sue.

Sue answers her, "The council didn't believe he had imprinted either. It was impossible for him to behave like that with other women if he really had imprinted. It was unheard of. We thought it might not be real." Everybody doubts me; except my girl.

Sue continued, "But there was another issue. The vampires; one was seen near La Push."

"Which vampires?" Bella is tense.

"The Cullens," Sue adds.

"One of the Cullens? Which one?" I hear her panic; she thinks it might be Fuckward.

"The little one; the girl," supplies Embry.

"Alice? And none of you told me? I thought you were my friends?" and _that _was the sound of Bella's heart cracking. I hug her leg. I can't speak yet, otherwise I'd tell her the pack love her. This is stupid tribal politics fucking it up for everyone. I bet she is half frightened it was Edward; half relieved it was not.

"We thought you might go back to them; share the pack secrets," says Sue. What secrets? That is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard. **Secrets? **How the big bad Alpha Sam gets bossed around by a tiny woman half his size? Which girl Quil is fantasizing about this week? Exactly how many muffins can Jake eat at one sitting? How Embry can fart the national anthem? Why Leah is such a bitch? How Seth can be so cute? Jared? ... no I've got nothing for Jared; he has no secrets. That's it for the pack secrets!

"No, she just wanted to know if you were okay," Leah pipes up. "She said something about you disappearing from her visions. Something must have changed in your life. I guess you would know what that means. She was just checking up and when I told her you were alive, she left again. She didn't want you to know she was here." Leah shrugged "If she did, she would have just knocked on your door."

So Alice has visions of the future? And Bella disappeared from them when she came to me. If she was going to leave me, she'd have popped back into Alice's visions? Fuck me, that means that Bella is mine for ever and ever amen. I feel good in a 'some big part of my fucked up life is okay' way.

Uh oh; I can feel waves of anger coming off my girl. Start running guys.** Run**; seriously.

"My god," she starts, "And in all this no-one ever had the courtesy to ask ME!" her voice is rising. "Do you seriously think I would betray the pack to the Cullens? **They left me.** Besides if Edward came back there would be no problem. He can read freaking minds! I wouldn't need to tell him a thing; he could just pick it all out of your head. Probably bigger secrets than I have ever known too."

Yeah I for one, do **not** want to know why Embry farts that much.

"Do you have any idea how much pain you have put Paul and me through?" She is going to cry now. "I thought you were my friends…" she let out a strangled sob. Yep, here come the tears. My girl always gets angry and then cries. Adorable; fuck, am I back to that? Must be all the hits to the head.

C'mon baby hold it together. And please get me off the ground.

"Jake, I'm so sorry ...I don't..." You don't what? Don't love him? Don't understand why he didn't imprint on you? Don't understand why you are with me? Maybe she had better not finish that sentence.

"...go home. I just can't deal with you right now. Embry and Quil, help get Paul into the house so Sue can bandage him. I will stay and so help me, if I see a single pack member around this house I will shoot them."

No-one argues with her. Fuck are you kidding, I am going to try really hard not to _ever_ argue with this woman.


	18. Making up

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 18: Making up**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: suspended congress here we come, or here they come... or whatever...**

Embry and Quil manage to lift me without damaging my arm further but shit those ribs hurt.

Sue sets my nose and arm and tapes my ribs. Pretty frosty in that room with Sue and Bella. They do not say a word to each other.

Bella wanders off and I fall asleep; yeah I probably should have said lots of things, but I am so bone weary tired. I know she is here and I can feel her. **She** is probably going to beat me to a bloody pulp again for all those women I slept with. I had better do some fast talking. But I think we will be okay; I think everything is sorted now and I need to heal; so yeah I sleep. Sue me.

I wake up and she is asleep next to me, holding my hand. I go and wash up as well as I can with one arm and then come back to bed. I just have to touch her so I rub her face until she wakes up.

"I'm sorry to wake you; I just…you're here…it's not a dream…," I say.

She tells me Charlie inspired her to fight for me. Damn that's another one I owe him. He didn't shoot me; he didn't lock me up for underage drinking and stalking his daughter and he inspires her to rescue me from the beating of my life. He's a pretty good guy.

Now we can finally talk to each other about everything; we do. She is pretty pissed at me for denying her but I point out it didn't work anyway. She still came to me. She's not entirely convinced. She's pissed off with me for not fighting with Jake. Yeah that makes a _whole_ lot of sense – **not**. I keep getting distracted by the sight of her wearing my t-shirt; it's truly sexy in a 'you are mine' sort of way.

So after a whole lot of talking, eating and sorting of issues, we go back to sleep. By the morning I am completely healed and we cement our relationship with a whole lot of sex. I try to get her to talk dirty but she is seriously hopeless at it.

I swear to her I will fuck her every day, or at least I will try to. I have a feeling my little firecracker is still going to blush in public but I am willing to bet I can make her into a freak in bed. Well at least I am going to keep trying.

Yeah I will apologize for refusing her with great make-up sex for the rest of her life.

That'll work.

Starting with the shower:

"Hey," I ask her, "remember when we had a shower at your place and you wouldn't touch me?"

She blushes. I go all Vin voice on her, "You can touch me now right?" She still blushes.

God this woman…I pick her up and wrap her legs around my waist and carry her to the bathroom.

"You don't have to carry me everywhere you know," she says.

"I know," I kiss her deeply and reach in to turn the water on. "I_ like_ carrying you around."

While the water is warming up I reach for her head and pull her in for a deep sensual kiss. She is getting braver with the French kissing.

The wolves all run so hot we have our hot water systems cranked up to maximum because nothing feels hot to us anymore. I have to turn it over to a temperature that feels colder to me, for her. When I have got the temperature right I put her down with a final smack on the lips and one on the ass; for balance. She giggles at me and steps into the shower.

I reach for a washer and ask her to scrub my back.

"Seriously woman, put some muscle into it this time!" I turn and put my hands up against the wall. She starts at the centre of my back and she does pretty well. Besides I reckon she could touch me anyhow anywhere and I would love it. She gets a bit braver and she presses her whole body up behind me and reaches around me with the soap. I can hear her make a funny almost purring noise as she runs her hands down my chest and across my abs. She kisses me in the centre of my back as her hands reach for my cock. I grunt as she gives my cock a hard pull. One hand snakes up and reaches for my nipple as the other continues to make hard strokes along my length. Damn she is a quick learner.

I grunt again as she pinches me hard on the nipple. I can feel her tits pressed up against me. Her fingers are running softly and lightly all over my straining cock. I moan as she thumbs the tip and presses into the slit at the top. "Fuck," I exclaim and then I lose it and turn around to grab her.

She squeaks a little at the speed with which I move as I latch onto her face and kiss her hard.

I run my fingers down between her legs and stroke across her clit. She shudders and then I lift her and with my hands under her butt I lean back and rest my shoulders against the wall. I bend my knees a little so my weight is pushed against the wall. She is pretty easy to lift but she can rest on my thighs if I need her to. She wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. Holding her by the thighs I lift her and slide her onto my cock.

We both groan as I slide her down.

The hot water is running down between us and adding to the sensation.

"Ugh…I could do this all day," I exclaim. I can lift her easily but rocking against her like this was slow and delicious. We stay like this for a while just enjoying the sensation; taking it slow. I press my lips against her pulse point in her neck and feel her heart beat against them. I hold her weight with one arm and slide my other hand up to her breast. I palm it in my hand and tweak her nipple until she gasps. I nibble along her jaw line and bite her earlobe gently. She is making little panting noises as we rock together.

"Please Paul…ugh...need…ohh yes…back to….bed…" she manages to say. I reach behind her and flick the water off. I leave her right where she is, as still carrying her, I step out of the shower and start to walk towards the bedroom.

"Hold on tight baby," I whisper in her ear.

She just holds on for the ride, but every step bounces her on my cock and we are not even half the way there before she is whimpering and squirming with pleasure. She is pressing herself down against me trying to get pressure on her clit.

I sit on the edge of the bed with her held against me and rock her against me a few more times, and then I lie down on my back and fold my arms behind my head. Wow that is a sight I truly want to see every day. She looks amazing; her hair is all messed up and she glows; she is almost blushing all over now with the heat from the shower and our impassioned love making. Fuck me – _love making_.

With my feet flat on the floor I can lift up into her. She makes a breathy noise as I do that and then she goes all cow girl on me. Rides me like a goddamn bull riding machine. Atta girl.

I put my arms up and grab her hands and then she has something to balance on; she can lift herself properly now.

"Fuuuck…that feels... so fucking…ugh…good," I grunt out. All I can hear is the sound of wet flesh slapping together, punctuated by her eager moans and whimpers and deep grunts from me. Then with a hard up-thrust from me as she slams herself down we fall over the edge into white light together.

When I come back to myself she is lying, panting on my chest. I stroke her back.

"I still don't forgive you for all those women," she mutters at me.

"I will _never_ fuck anybody else," I promise her. Actually that's not a hard one. Fucking her is so much better than any body else I would be some kind of idiot to go there.

Yeah yeah, I know, I have been all kinds of stupid so far; but trust me, it's never going to happen.


	19. A lifetime of bad patrols

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 19: A lifetime of bad patrols**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

She heads off home on Sunday afternoon. She did promise Charlie she'd be home to cook his dinner. I am surprised she can walk at all. Man did we hit it hard; had sex everywhere! My wish that she smelled like me is well and truly fulfilled; she_ reeks_ of me. Yum. I almost marked her; bit her on the neck, but didn't break the skin. I could hear her heartbeat change when I did it. Yet another freaky wolf thing. She recognized it even if she didn't know what it was. I might have to break that little tradition to her gently. And definitely have to be doing it doggy style; seems appropriate somehow.

I suspect Charlie might shoot me if his daughter showed up with a big ass bite on her neck. Maybe that one will have to wait for a while.

Damn lucky I live alone and no-one chose to visit. I suppose she did threaten to shoot them. Charlie might have taken her to the shooting range, but I doubt it; she'd be highly likely to hurt herself. But they don't know that!

I think I had better go and check up on Jake. Maybe I should shower first? Might be a bit rude to see him reeking of sex with the love of his life. More showers, fuck I thought I had finished with this phase.

I jog over to the Black house, knock, call out and let myself in. Billy wheels out of the kitchen as I come in the door.

"Paul," he says and tells me to sit at the table. I sit; nobody argues with Billy. He hands me a can of soda; cool, it must be a serious talk, not a ripping me a new asshole talk. Phew. I just wait; he'll get to it when he is good and ready. Nobody hurries Billy either.

We sit together for a few minutes. I sip my drink. He looks at me with his freaky X-ray vision; you know the one that sees right through you.

"Taha Aki identifies your mate for you and you disagree?"

I sigh. "Yeah...it was stupid." I look up at him. "Sam told me it would be a clust...disaster." I sigh again, "And it was."

"I'm really sorry Jake got hurt. I didn't want him to find out that way, but..." I shrug.

Billy says nothing.

I feel a need to justify myself. Billy always manages to get me to talk, to try and cover up. One of these days I will learn to keep my mouth shut, but it's not today. I suppose he is the closest thing I have to a father.

"Jake was part of the reason why I tried to deny it. Sam and I both knew he would be really hurt by the imprint. Plus the Leah, Sam, Emily thing is still affecting people; especially now Leah is a wolf. I just don't like imprinting. I mean, it gave me Bella, but I still don't understand why her...with me? I mean I love her; she's the centre of my world, but..." okay stop talking; _shut the fuck up Waggener._

Billy just keeps looking at me.

I can't help myself... "I don't think the alpha should imprint. How can he look after the best interests of the tribe if he is holding his girl's hand?"

Billy makes a humph noise. "I agree." Yay score one for me. "But that means you have taken the woman he loves from him and he doesn't have a possible imprint as a consolation." Billy lifts his eyebrows.

Dang, didn't think of that! "Jake could have any woman he wanted Billy; you know that. I mean just look at him. Any girl on the rez would have him." I suppose that doesn't make him feel any better right now; he's not _me_, after all.

"Actually, he and Leah would be spectacular together," I add. Fuck, don't know where that came from. Besides she is the only girl on the rez he can be sure that I didn't fuck. I almost laugh at the thought.

"I knew he loved Bella, but I don't think I realised quite how much, until he was whaling on my face," I add quietly.

I drop my head into my hands. "I don't know how to fix this. She told him he was her best friend; she told him she didn't love him like that. She tried to tell him so many times. Even Emily spoke to Jake about it. It's not Bella's fault, Billy."

"No one is blaming her," he says. My head pulls up sharply. So what? They are blaming me? "He knows all of that in his head, but it doesn't affect how he feels in his heart," Billy continues.

"And it isn't your fault either," he adds. Well thank the fuck for that. Not that it will stop Jake hitting me...again...several times.

"Billy, he's my future Alpha and maybe the leader of the whole tribe one day...and I stole his girl." Yeah; sucks to be me. I can foresee a lifetime of really bad patrols coming right up.

"I respect you for coming here today to speak to him," says Billy.

I stand up. "Better keep the first aid kit handy, Billy. He might hit me again." I throw my empty soda in the trash. "Is he in his room?" Billy nods, so I head off down the hall. I have no idea if he is awake and heard any of that, or not.

I suck it up; take a big breath and knock. Yeah, chicken shit, I know.

I hear a response so I open the door and stick my head in. He's lying on his stomach, half on his little bed. Fuck this room is so small for the biggest member of the pack. I can't help myself so I ask "Why the fuck don't you move into the girl's room? It must be bigger. Seriously Jake, you barely fit in here."

He laughs. It's not a huge belly laugh, but I'll take it.

"You've never picked a fight with Rachel and Rebecca have you?" he asks.

"No. No sisters, remember? Only child here."

"Doesn't matter if they are married and living in Hawaii, it's still _their_ room," he says. "It would not be worth my life to pick that fight." Yep, I suppose I hadn't thought of that.

"Hey can we talk?" I ask him.

"Thought we already were," he says being a smart-ass.

"Yeah right," I give him the eye roll don't-be-a-smart-ass look.

He sighs. "Yeah, come in."

"Did you hear any of the discussion with Billy?" Hey, saves me repeating myself.

"Some," he says. Wow thanks for the help Jake.

I throw myself down on the floor and sit with my knees up and my back against the wall. "I don't know what to tell you Jake. I tried so hard to fight it. I hated what imprinting did to Sam and Leah. I don't think it is fair, you know." He looks at me for a second.

"You refused her because of me?" he asks quietly.

"Partly for you. Partly well…to be really honest; I didn't like her. She ran with vamps and I didn't even try to get to know her." I look up at him. "I mean, I knew how you felt about her, but she just wasn't my type."

"So she didn't know about the imprint when she…when she came to you?"

I can just tell, it is killing him to ask that; but he _has _to know.

"She had no idea. She was so stressed and confused; you should have seen her." Oops that was a dumb thing to say. "No, sorry I guess you wouldn't want to see that," I try to apologize.

He laughs again. "No," he says, "I can just imagine." He thinks for a second. "She would have been blushing and wringing her hands."

Yep, he knows my girl pretty well. I laugh quietly, "Yeah, lots of blushing," I snort when I remember it. "She even panicked and thought about running out the door at one stage. Left everything in the truck in case I said 'no'. Me; like I would say 'no'?"

"Well I suppose you did refuse her before that," he notes.

I snort again "Yeah…funny…count the women I have refused; One." That shit is ironic.

We just sit there for a little while.

"She loves you Jake; not like _that,_ but she loves you." I run my hands through my hair; I'm kind of nervous. I am no good at this emotional crap. "I'm not going to be ridiculous and insist she never sees you or anything stupid like that. You are her best friend and she wants you in her life and therefore,_ that_ is important to me. Besides you are pretty solidly in _my_ life, so it is not as if we can avoid each other."

Jake lets out a snort and then he says, "You know she gave me reciprocal best friend rights?"

I have to ask, "Like what?"

He sounds kind of smug, "She said I had her full permission to beat you up if you cheated on her or broke her heart."

I laugh. That just sounds exactly like something she would say. "Do I get credit for the earlier beating? I mean I didn't do any of that stuff so I think I am one up here."

Jake sighs and rolls over, sitting up on the bed. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Paul."

"Thanks, but it was all my own stupid fault. I probably deserved that beating."

Jake frowns at me. "No-one deserves a beating," he tells me. There's the future tribe leader;_ right there_.

"It was that stupid order I made Sam bind me with; I couldn't tell you what was happening before you…you know…took matters into your own hands." I snorted. "Fuck, I tried; I was screaming at you 'ask her, just ask her'," I laugh.

Then we both get the giggles. It is not really funny, but we both roar with laughter at the thought of _me_ fucking up my own life quite so spectacularly.

"And then you broke my arm," I manage between gales of laughter.

"Yeah, sorry man," he says still laughing.

And just like that it is kind of fixed. It's guy thing, we get over shit easily.

"You smell like her," says Jake.

"Guess I always will now," I shrug. "Yeah sorry man, I scrubbed myself raw."

We sit there for a bit longer.

"So, Leah huh?" he asks.

"Ah so you heard _that_," I laugh. "Well think about it; the alpha male and alpha female wolves. She is a spectacular woman and the sex…fuck…you could go for _days_…," I sound awed at the thought.

Jake snorts, but then gives me a serious look. What, am I drooling? "Oh c'mon man; the sex is one of the best things about being a werewolf. You have seriously got to get laid," I tell my future alpha and tribe leader. _Good thinking Waggener; always thinking with your little head._ Hey 'smaller' not little.

Then I realize Billy might have overheard that part of the conversation. "Fuck, does Billy have wolf hearing?" I ask in a mild panic.

Jake just laughs at me again.

We tumble out of his bedroom after a while to raid the fridge and I catch Billy quietly putting the first aid kit away.

**AN: in the mind of Paul, being able to have sex for days is a completely valid reason for going out with someone, besides he never did have sex with Leah.**


	20. Epilogue Puppies

**What was he thinking?**

**Chapter 20: Puppies**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction._

**AN: thanks to furyangoddess for betaing**

**Three or four years have passed – yeah they got married, it was beautiful, Billy performed the ceremony on the beach - Jake was Bella's best man (you didn't think she'd have bridesmaids did you?) - You should have been there – but we don't need info about dresses and corsages now do we? We want the important stuff -**

**This is Paul remembering the birth of the twins (and yes, they have names since you all asked)**

Bella pregnant. I can't tell you how happy my inner wolf was to see her pregnant; and with twins? It was like a little mini litter of pups. And man was I so pleased with myself. I mean, sure she contributed, but they were _my_pups, you know?

Hey I wonder if they will be boys. I dreamed of our super pups all those years ago in Charlie's kitchen. Funny how we call it Charlie's place now she lives with me on the rez.

Every time I got all poppa wolf on her she would roll her eyes and launch into a lecture about how child carrying is really hard. I'd fade out and watch her, she gets so animated when she's railing on me; I love it. She gets more colour in her face, makes her so much more fuckable to me. Heck, she's always fuckable to me, especially when she's been drinking; I love it when she's tipsy, but none of that since the pregnancy. I would always get into _more_ trouble when she realised that I really wasn't listening to her. But then I could make it up to her – yeah…

First few months she threw up all day and like a good man I would hold her hair out of her face and make her cups of tea with honey. She couldn't drink coffee anymore; even the smell made her sick. A bit less coffee calmed her down a little. Can't tell you the number of times we had to stop the car and let her throw up at the side of the road. She would always be so embarrassed about it. Bella still blushes at everything. Maybe Bella was some freak of nature and was actually going to give birth by throwing them up? Man I hope not; that would just be weird. I loved lying with my ear on her tummy. With my super wolfy hearing I could hear their little hearts racing. Wow, they beat really fast. Guess they have a lot of stuff to do, all that growing and changing shit.

Then the middle part just got better and better. She got super horny. And I mean SUPER horny. We fuck every day anyway but now she was begging for it; damn near wore me out; I mean**me!**She was getting quite a bump too, so we had to get inventive with the sexual positions. Hey, I am pretty inventive anyway, but that was just a whole lot of fun. Not that I wasn't eager for it too. She just reeked of fertility and that got my inner wolf all horny; couldn't keep my hands off her. And when her tits filled out…_man_ that was great!

Last bit was a trial. She had got so big; she was having trouble getting around. She was tired all the time and her skin was starting to look really pale. Almost as pale as a fucking vampire.

It suddenly occurred to me that this was really _serious shit_.

She was so thin, like they were just sucking the life out of her. I kept trying to feed her up on anything she wanted. Ran around like the typical fucking sitcom father getting her whatever she wanted. I was starting to be panicked by the whole thing. It's all very well for her to be having my pups, but I am not so sure about it if she is going to kill herself doing it, you know?

She was all mad that she had to give birth on the rez and that the babies would have some spiritual link to the land or some such shit. She wanted a natural birth with no drugs and no medical intervention. But I wasn't convinced. I mean I could see she was exhausted. One baby? Maybe she could have got it out on her own, but two? I mean all they had to do was learn to queue but given they are my pups; I would bet they would be fighting before they made it down the birth canal. As if they could make it out in a neat row without jamming up the whole works?

I actually started to read some of the books she had and that just worried me half to death. Complications came with twins. Problems with getting to the full 40 weeks, problems with the birth, problems with the recovery of the mother and problems with infant mortality rates.

She's my one and only; she's my imprint and I do NOT want to lose her.

So for the first time ever, I picked a fight with Bella Waggener. I told her she was going to the hospital and she was going to have every possible bit of medical intervention if it came to a choice between her life and the other option. I didn't tell her that I would choose_her_over the kids if it came to that. I'd rather have her and no kids. Yeah well the other option just doesn't bear thinking about.

She wailed and carried on but I would not be moved.

Then I came home from Sam's one day and found her unconscious in a puddle on the kitchen floor. We had made a deal that she wasn't to be alone, but she had weaseled out of it and got some alone time this one day. Always was single minded that woman.

I let out a noise I personally never want to hear come out of my mouth ever again. I mean_ever_.

All her natural choices were gone when I just had to get her into town and into the hospital as fast as possible. Didn't wait for a fucking ambulance to make it out to the rez.

I drove like a madman into town and left the car in the middle of the road. I ran into the door of the hospital at a frankly inhuman pace. I completely forgot about keeping it cool. All I cared about was saving her life.

Everything happened so fast; there was no time for kisses and hand holding and me cutting the cords or even being present at the birth. I respect those hospital staff forever. They ran; they fucking ran with her on a trolley and left me standing in the waiting room.

Sam came in within minutes and tried to keep me together, but I was losing it big time. If I phased and ran around in the forest I wasn't going to be helping her any, so I had to keep myself under control.

It was the longest 14 minutes of my life.

They came out to tell me I had two healthy sons. They were surprised at how big they were and how well they were breathing on their own given they were so early, but the news on Bella was not so good. Nothing could keep me from her then, I could smell her in the hospital and I made my way to the operation recovery room. No-one could stop me and from the look on my face, nobody tried too hard.

The nurse in the room looked familiar. Oh don't tell me she is one of my women from years ago? Fuck me. She clearly remembered me fondly because she said she wasn't supposed to let me in there, but since it was me. She made some comment about my wife being a pretty special lady to have tied me down and she patted me on the arm. I assured her that my wife was everything to me. First time I thought Bella might be grateful for me fucking someone.

I found her under some spacey foil blanket; they were having problems with her body temperature. She was stable but was unconscious and so cold; she really did look and feel like a vampire now. She looked empty, with the babies gone and if anything, she looked even smaller.

There was a maze of tubes and shit everywhere but not so many on one side, so I ripped my clothes off and climbed in next to her. I wrapped my arms around her and held her against my warmth and I told her everything.

I told her how much I loved her, how I would just die if she didn't come back to me and how we had two sons together. I told her how I needed her, how _they_would need her and how sorry I was that I had rejected her all those years ago. I poured it all out; I cried I sobbed and I even threatened her; said she wasn't to think that dying was going to get rid of me; I would even follow her _there_.

In the end I ran out of things to say and I just held her and rocked a little. I was so completely emotionally exhausted, I must have dozed off. I don't think I was really asleep, just kind of dazed.

And then I felt a tiny movement. She moved her head and kissed me and she said my name. And she said she forgave me and that she loved me. I swear I fell even more in love with her at that moment. We just stayed there until they insisted that I really _had_to move. Her body temperature was stable by then and I still had to meet my sons.

I let her go and put my clothes back on. I swear the nurse had a look for old time's sake.

I followed the trolley to her room where the boys were waiting for us, along with what looked like half the population of La Push.

Bella was so thin and her waters had already broken so that when they made the Cesarean incision they had cut the bottom of one of the boys; he was pressed right up against her. They saved all their lives, so I didn't really give a fuck. We will call that one Charles; Charlie for short. Maybe Charlie Jacob, yeah – he'd like that.

And the other one can be Levi William for Billy Black and Sam's grandfather.

They were so squashed in there, they will need some leg exercises for a little while but they are both healthy boys. They fussed if they were in separate cribs so we stuck them in one crib together. They seemed to look at each other too. Adorable; fuck me, am I back to that?

We came to an agreement on the birth on the native land thing; we buried the placenta on the rez. Bella swore she had read somewhere that it would give the boys roots. Personally I thought it would just feed whatever was desperate enough to dig it up again, but she was happy and that was all I gave a fuck about.

Bella had to stay in hospital for nearly a week until they were sure she was strong enough to go home. Personally I thought Forks hospital was really pleased to have her in there for a good reason; for once, she hadn't hurt herself. She breastfed the boys but they needed extra bottles of formula. She developed the appetite of a werewolf. Now I understand why people get so freaked by how much food I can put away, because I damn near died when Bella started doing it. I loved feeding them when she couldn't and I loved just sitting in the armchair with them lying on my chest and snoozing.

Bella took a photo of the three of us one day asleep in that chair and it is seriously my favourite; one big hand over the back of each little baby, their faces turned towards each other and their little heads of spiky black hair.

Adorable.

THE END.

**AN: point of information: the twin bottom cutting thing happened to my friend with her babies, so I borrowed Sam's 'birth mark'; lucky it was his butt and not somewhere else I suppose.**

**thank you for all your positive comments and reviews - it has been a fun journey - I never meant to write Paul's POV and I am rather glad now, that I did. They go together like ...well Paul and Bella.**

**Thanks again**

**MTR**

**PS: there are three extra chapters after this… but be careful… they're hot! **

FF_2154210_ - 9/07/2011 01:57:00 AM


	21. Extra deflowering alpha

**Chapter 21: Deflowering alpha**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: this is set about a year after Paul and Bella get together - italics with an initial is wolf speak - italics alone is a thought - normal speech means they are not phased - I am writing another story that is not that smutty and my inner smut needed a release, so naturally I thought of Paul - how long did it take Paul to make Bella a freak in bed? gee less than a year I am guessing**

**Thanks to furyangoddess for betaing - warning graphic sex and threesome - remember children safe sex always**

_Jake: What the hell was that?_ He was so surprised he stopped running; his paws scraping into the dirt and leaves on the forest floor.

What the fuck? Oh, I did not just leak that image to the man in question. You fucking idiot Waggener. I circled around and came back to him. I stopped in front of him and waited with my tongue lolling out the side of my mouth. Hey, I'm a wolf we pant, get over it; and we drool…lots of drool.

He was waiting for me; his head tilted to the side.

_J: what was __**that**__?_

What, that image I just flashed into your head of you having sex with my imprint?

_Paul: Bella has a theory about you._

He made a snuffle noise. I guess that's a snort when in wolf form.

_P: Are we being honest here Jake?_ I'm just checking. I really don't need my face broken again.

_P: Secrets and lies fucked us all up before. _

He agrees. He has a guilty flash of pounding on me. Ouch, that hurts even as a memory.

_P: Okay here goes: She thinks you are still hung up on her and I would have to agree. She got drunk last week and said she wished she had slept with you too. I guess I was thinking about that and must have flashed you a glimpse._

_J: You are just not like any other wolf; you know that, Paul?_

_P: Yeah_ – I took that as a compliment. Hang on, that _was_ a compliment right?

_J: She told you that she wished she had had sex with me? And you are __**not**__ upset?_

_P: Why would I get upset about her telling me the truth? She and I don't lie to each other._

He looks confused.

I don't need to tell him what she was doing to me as she expounded this theory. Do _not_ flash him that image…

_P: She was pretty drunk but she thinks if you get it out of your system, you can move on. I mean it has been almost a year and you are not dating and not seeing any girl sexually. And you are avoiding us. She feels guilty that she didn't sleep with you before me I suppose._

_J: How would you know I am not having sex?_

_P: Smell dude, smell! You are __**not**__ having sex, and add in your snarky whiny constant PMS attitude and we have the full picture._

_J: Fuck you, Waggener. This is your sex solves everything theory._

_P: Well yeah. And it does in my book. Sure it can make your life pretty complicated sometimes, but living without it? Dude that sucks balls – oh shit is anyone else on patrol? _

_J: No – just us._

_P: Phew._

We sit for a minute, and then he makes a big sigh noise and throws himself on the ground.

"I can't believe I am asking this, so what are you and I suppose, Bella proposing?" he asks.

"Hey, none of this is my idea," I bluster, "but she's my imprint dude. What she wants, she gets and she wants you! Well, technically she wants to help you, but you know what I mean…or maybe you don't …whatever…"

"Well as Buffy would say, 'Picture me confused'," says Jake.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me of our Buffy marathon sessions. Damn that girl is cute and the vampires make us crack up laughing.

"Hey, stop distracting me," I whine.

He snorts again.

"So Bella wants to have sex with me?"

Always straight for the jugular with Black.

"Well yeah, I suppose…," I stutter, "I guess that is what she wants."

"And you, as her wolf imprintee, are okay with that? To leave her with me while we…" he trails off.

"Dude, I am going to be there too! There is **no** way you are tapping that without me!" Now that just sounded weird. "I **did not** mean that in a gay way…" oh fuck, what the hell do I mean? Damn a threesome with Jake – wow.

"I am not touching you," I try to explain, "I mean I like you, but I don't_ like_ you, you know?"

He holds up his hands. "Hey, no problems here," then he looks stunned. "Jeez did I just agree to this? Paul, you are seriously screwed in the head…"

"Well maybe it's because you hit me so hard," I tell him. "Besides, _you_ are the one agreeing to this."

"Yeah," he laughs; he actually laughs at the memory of beating me up. At some point without even realising we have both phased back and we are sitting naked on the forest floor discussing fucking my imprint together. Yeesh my life…and we are both naked. I mean naked! We phase so often I swear we don't really see each other anymore, its kind of natural if you know what I mean.

I have a sudden thought about the size of Jacob's junk. Can't remember if I have taken the time to check him out before. He had better not be bigger than me; if he hurts her I'll kill him. Future alpha or not, I'll rip his fucking head off, either of them will do. Looks okay though, about the same size as me.

"Look, Jake, I don't know about any of this, but neither of us can stand to see you hurting so badly," I try to explain why Bella and I are even thinking about this. "I will do anything if it will help you get on with your life."

I heave a big sigh. "Now don't hit me, but you haven't even stepped up to alpha dude. You are 18 now. There is a whole lot of shit going down and you are shirking," I point at him. "No one is game to say anything to you, because we can all see how hurt you are. But you stick your head down and wallow and it has gotta stop… and Bella? She loves you and you are killing her. She wants her sunny, unicorn happy Jake back. If this is what she thinks is going to fix this clusterfuck, then I'll do it, because you are still hurting her and she is still hurting you," I pause, "It has got to **stop**, Jake." _Okay shut the fuck up Waggener; seriously, enough talking already._

He just looks at me and sighs again. "Yeah, I know," he agrees. "My dad nags me constantly about the alpha thing; well he doesn't nag, but you know what I mean. He has that weird silent X-ray eye thing going on."

"Oh yeah, I know about the Billy stare," I agree.

He's picking up bits of leaves and tearing them apart in his hands. Guess he has to do something with them. At least he isn't hitting me.

"You think I haven't tried to stop loving her?" he asks.

Oh jeez, in for a penny…you know the rest.

"Well have you? Look Jake I know how irresistible she is. Fuck I damn near killed myself trying to keep away from her. I know… but you haven't _really_ tried to move on have you?" _Idiot; he is seriously going to hit you again._

"No," he agrees but it damn near kills him to say it.

"It's all very well for me to tell you this, I mean I've got the girl but…I will share her with you." Okay, now_** I**_ can't believe I said that.

He is silent. Not sure what anyone can say to an offer like that?

"I don't think it could make it any worse," I say. Yeah picture me stupid. "This is a one time offer only," I tell him.

"How do you know it won't get worse?" he asks.

I think about my response and then I think fuck it, we are being honest here.

"I trust her. She is not going to have an ongoing affair with you. She trusts me, she loves me, I know that… and anyway, worst case scenario I would still take it, if she did because I love her _that_ much." Damn that actually hurt to say.

"Definitely not like any other wolf," Jake says. Now that I _am_ taking as a compliment.

We sit for a minute.

"So how do we do this?" he asks.

"Fucked if I know. I will have to arrange something with the lady in question," I snort "She'll blush, you know that right?" And we both laugh.

Then I say, "Look, what are you doing right now?"

"Patrolling with you," he says with the dumb ass look and eye roll.

"Duh…I meant after patrolling."

"Nothing," he shrugs "maybe working on some stuff in the garage."

I stand up and brush my hands off, "Are we done patrolling? Well there's no time like the present. You want to phase back and we can both head for home?" I pause, "and Bella."

He blushes, big alpha dog Black blushes. "Yeah," then he asks as if he really can't believe me, "Are you sure about this Waggener?"

I give him a look and realize he has a stiffy at the thought of fucking Bella; yeah he needs this...badly.

"Look dude I told you…this needs fixing." I run my hand through my hair, "Regardless, it is still up to her she might say 'no' and then the whole thing is off right?"

He nods.

"So let's go, Black. Come on, I'll race you!" I shout as I phase and take off running for home. Fucking super alpha dog Black doesn't take long to catch me; he really is a natural. I can't imagine how much bigger he will get when he becomes Alpha. I send him an image of him and Leah; doesn't hurt to stir the pot occasionally.

He nips at my heels; ouch, that hurt.

We come barrelling into the yard; Jake let me win the race, I am sure. It's early evening by now and no one is around. We duck into the forest and phase back and put our shorts on. I walk towards the back of the house. Jake stops; he's nervous I guess.

"Oh, come on," I tell him, "the worst she could do is hug you to death. You have been avoiding her, I told you, and she hates it."

"I think this is a bad idea," he says.

"Whatever," I swing open the back screen door shouting for her as I go, "Hey, Bella, I brought you a present."

She comes into the kitchen and hugs me, "Ooh, is it flowers, chocolates, coffee?" she asks excitedly. "A dead vampire?" She bounces on the spot.

"Hey, I told you to lay off the coffee," I tell her. "No, much better," I hug her and then hold the door open outwards.

It takes him a minute but eventually he ducks in the door with his head down. She throws herself at him with a squeal that would deafen a normal man let alone a wolf.

"Fuck, Bella, is there blood coming out my ears?" I tell her off.

She is still clinging to him and he has gingerly put his arms around her too.

"No," she tells him off, "I want a proper hug; a Jacob Black rib crusher."

"Sure sure, Bells," and then he picks her up off the ground and crushes her to him.

This might actually work; I can feel both of them are happier already.

She pulls back and kisses him. "What are you doing here?" she asks, "Not that I am not pleased to see you," she smacks him on the shoulder. "You've been avoiding me."

"Jake here is staying for dinner," and I raise an eyebrow "and dessert."

"Oh goodie," she says. I reckon she missed the dessert crack. Maybe get a few glasses of wine into her and then explain that bit a little more clearly.

"I made extra meatloaf; with a layer of roasted red capsicum, wrapped in bacon and covered with barbeque sauce. Its Paul's favourite so you will just have to eat it with no complaints."

"That sounds great, Bells," he has barely let her go; just let her stand on her own two feet. I look at them; yeah, I can do this. Fuck, I screwed women who were not my imprint and lived to tell the tale. They both need this; but it does feel kinda weird.

She bustles us out off the kitchen with orders to have a shower before dinner. The house has two bathrooms so that is no biggie. Jake will fit in some of my clothes. I can hear her singing in the kitchen as I am getting changed. After my shower I go to find Jake with some clothes. He is standing leaning against the door frame with a towel on.

He gives me a serious look. "She's singing," he says.

"She's happy you are here," I tell him as I hand him the clothes.

"You know her pretty well don't you?" he asks.

I just smile at him.

We are sitting at the table eating our dinner. Bella is so happy she is beaming at Jake and she keeps touching his arm. I can see him bask in her glow too. Fuck that girl is influencing me; 'bask' my furry ass. He's happy too. Fuck that wordy shit.

I keep filling up her wine glass; she doesn't notice. I am trying to think how on earth I open this subject for her. 'Baby, I want you to fuck Jake here; you know you will both feel better.' I snort.

She gives me a look. Oops was that snort too loud? Sorry baby. Jake gets up to go to the bathroom and she takes the opportunity to ask me what is wrong.

"Nothing's wrong…it's just I need to ask you something and I don't know how to do it." Honesty works for me, I reckon. I reach for her hand across the table. I rub the back of it with my thumb.

"Okay," she sounds doubtful. Her cheeks are flushed from the wine.

"Damn girl, you look so fuckable when you get all red cheeked," I tell her. I stand and pull her to her feet. I give her a deep kiss and she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her.

"I love you," she tells me.

"I know," I tell her. That earns me a smack on the shoulder.

"I have to get dessert," she says.

"No you don't," I tell her, "I brought dessert." Yeah that'll do it. That was a pretty good introduction.

She gives me a puzzled look. I can see Jake in the doorway behind her; she didn't hear him. He looks nervous again.

"Baby, do you remember our discussion last week?"

"About Jake?" she whispered. As if he couldn't hear her anyway.

"Yeah Jake," I slide my hands down to her ass and pull her hard against me. "He's dessert." I can hear her heart rate increase. I kiss the side of her neck. I whisper in her ear, "Can you do that for me?"

The wine must have made her a bit reckless because she whispers back, "God…that would be like my _hottest_ fantasy come true." I laugh; I can't help myself. And we were worried what her reaction would be. Blushing, my ass. Suddenly she grabs at me, "But only if you are there too."

The look on Jake's face is priceless; a cross between excited, nervous and embarrassed.

"You have to be gentle with him baby," I tell her. I give him a look, "He's new to this stuff." He rolls his eyes behind her.

She snorts, "I would have thought I am the breakable one in this sandwich." As she said that Jake came up and pressed himself up behind her. She gasped. She gave me a look like she wasn't sure that this was okay. Jake met my eyes over her head and I nodded.

I kissed her again, "It's okay baby; let us look after you," and then I turned her so she was facing Jake.

He had a look on his face like I must have had when she knocked on my door. He ducked his head down to look in her eyes and they just stood there for a minute or two. I was running my hands up and down the tops of her arms; relaxing her and letting her know I was okay with this. I kissed the side of her neck and felt her pulse racing against my lips. Man she was so nervous; almost as bad as Jake.

He reached his hands up so slowly to the sides of her face and he pulled her lips towards his. I held my breath and I prayed to whatever gods were listening, that this didn't go disastrously wrong. I watched as my imprint and my true alpha kissed. I had to shut my eyes for a second but then I felt her hand reach back and grab mine. And she squeezed it, and I knew it would be okay.

I pulled away and went to lock the doors and turn some lights off; there was no way anyone was walking in on us tonight. When I got back they were still kissing and her hands were fisted in Jake's hair. His arms were wrapped around her back and her feet were off the ground. They didn't look like they were going to move, so I pushed at Jake and got him to take a step back towards the bedroom. Doing this in the kitchen, whilst it fitted with our past hook-ups didn't seem private enough to me.

We made it crab walking to the bedroom, and I ripped my shirt off. I pulled Bella off him and spun her towards me. Her eyes looked glazed. "Are you okay, baby?" I asked her. She blinked, "Yeah," she gave me a long slow smile and reached for my face. I kissed her deeply and unbuttoned her jeans. Jake was ripping his shirt off too. Fuck, we were actually going to do this.

Jake and I looked at each other and inhaled deeply. Man, she smelt pretty excited. We were both naked in seconds and had her between us again. Touching and kissing every patch of skin we exposed as we undressed her. She had her eyes closed and she was humming to herself. Jake was following my lead. I started to run my hands up and down her body. Then I reached for her breasts and tweaked her nipples. She gasped and pushed back into Jake making him inhale sharply too.

I pushed her jeans down her legs and she stepped out of them. She leaned back on Jake while she did and he reached around and cupped her breasts. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was praying. She had one arm around me and one around him. I turned her a little so that she was side on to us both. I let my head drop down and took one of her nipples into my mouth and sucked on it hard. Jake did the same on his side. Her hands came up and held us both there. I kept one arm around her both to remind her I was there and to catch her if she passed out on us. I really thought she might stop breathing or her knees would give out.

She was making little moaning noises now and I could smell how wet she was. I pushed Jake's hand down a little and when it didn't move I actually picked it up and placed it on her pubic hair. I think he must have got the idea because she made another breathy noise as I went back to her nipple. I drew back to check and could see his hand between her legs. Her hand was on top of his gently guiding him. Atta girl. I reached my other hand down towards her rear. We were working up to a bit of rear action and she got super excited by it; even talking about it got her going double quick. Hadn't quite convinced her to take me yet, just playing around so far, but give me time and maybe a trip to the sex shop for a butt plug. That was next on my shopping list. I really liked the ones with tails; they were pretty cute. Just imaging my girl with a tail got me all excited. Maybe they would have a furry one, like a wolf.

So for now I just ran my fingers over her ass and she damn near creamed herself. But with three hands down there we ran into each other. So I withdrew after a quick dip and a squeak from Bella. I pressed myself against her hip and breathed in her ear, "Who do you want first, baby?"

"Ooh," she moaned as I realized she couldn't answer me right now. Black was a quick learner. She shuddered and gasped in our arms. I must have looked quizzical as our eyes met over her quivering body.

"Cosmo," he explained, "sisters…sealed…sections," he kissed her neck between words. Well done Jake. Nothing like a good education. I would have to lend him my well thumbed copy of the Kama Sutra.

I kissed her deeply, and could see Jake's head drop down to her breasts again. I was a bit distracted trying to think about the mechanics of this; who was going to do what to whom. Maybe I should just ask her what she wanted. I was here in a supervisory capacity; I got her to myself the rest of the time. But then she grabbed my cock and I damn near lost it. I was definitely close to losing it when I realized she had Jake's cock in her other hand. Fuck me, that was not an image I was going to forget soon. And I was worried about _her_ knees giving out; she damn near brought both of us down at the same time.

Jake's head fell forward onto her shoulder and he let out moan that sounded like he was pretty close to losing it. "Baby," I said in her ear, "he's close, let him go first."

"Please," Jake begged.

"Bed," I ordered.

We climbed onto the bed in a disordered jumble. I lay with my back against the headboard and pulled Bella towards me so that her back was against my chest. She reached for Jake and pulled him down onto her. I exhaled with an 'oof'; that was never going to work, Jake was going to pound _me_ into the mattress. I slipped out from under Bella and lay at her side.

Maybe my alpha needed some of my expert instructions. "Is she wet enough?" I asked him, "Better make sure, Jake." His hand slipped between her legs again and she moaned and thrust herself against his wrist.

"Fuck me," she begged, "Fuck me, please."

He looked at me with a trace of panic.

"You heard the woman, Jake, get going." I smirked at him, "It's rude to make a lady wait."

He looked down and positioned himself with a hand on each of her thighs. She had her legs apart and was making breathy little whimpering noises. Jake looked worried.

"She'll be fine; you are not going to hurt her, she can take me, she can take you." I encouraged him to fuck my imprint. "Start off slow and shallow if you can, make her beg for it. She'll let you know when she wants more. Won't you, baby?" I asked her and kissed the side of her head.

"Please," she whined. She reached up and ran her hands down his chest.

With a reverence I understood, Jake slowly entered her. She moaned and he let out one of his own.

"Fuck," he exclaimed, "You're so wet, Bella." He kept up the slow and steady pace and after while she started to wriggle and rock her hips. I reached down and grabbed her behind her knee and pulled it up towards me.

"Faster and harder now, Jake," I instructed. With the new angle he was clearly hitting that spot inside her that made her squeal. She let out a stream of words that made no sense and rocked her head from side to side. She got it together a bit and "Oh God…oh yes…just like that…fuck…," she gasped out.

He started to thrust hard and fast and let out along low growl. She loves it when I growl so Jake doing it had the same effect. I let out a stream of words too when she grabbed my cock hard. I thought it was by accident but then she started fisting me and I let out a growl of my own. She clutched at Jake's neck with her other hand and he fell onto her lips and kissed her hard. I let go of her leg and leaned down to her ear, "I'm okay, I love you," I told her, she seemed to relax a little with that, guess she was worried I was missing out.

Jake sat up with his legs tucked under him; Bella had arched her back and his big hands grabbed her around her ribs and lifted her a little. He just pulled her onto him; lifted her and rammed her down. She let out a wail that told me she was close to losing it.

Damn he wasn't going to need much instruction; like everything else, Jake was a natural. I was fisting myself; now _that_ was seriously the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen. Okay maybe Jake was right; I am fucked in the head, but…damn…

Bella jolted and almost growled herself and then she came in a shuddering explosion. Jake was still pulling her onto him when he let out another growl. He lifted her up so that she was sitting on him and his long arms wrapped around her and pulled her down hard and held her there as he emptied himself into her. His head fell back and I could see the pulse racing in his neck. Bella's hand reached back for me. That's my girl; she doesn't forget me, ever. I grabbed her hand and came at the sight of my girl and my alpha together; her other arm wrapped around his neck. Yep, seriously fucked in the head.

I started to wonder if our bed was going to make it through tonight. It has taken a pounding before but the extra weight might be too much for it. That would do my reputation wonders, if I actually broke the bed. Couldn't tell everyone it was Jake's fault now could we?

Bella let go of my hand, pulled her head back, grabbed Jake's face with both hands and looked at him. He gave her the smile he only ever gives her. It's a wonder his face doesn't break when he does that. Well, he looked happier already; yep, this was going to work.

"I missed that smile," she told him.

I climbed off the bed and went to get a damp towel for clean up. I threw it in the door at them and headed off to the kitchen for some isotonic drinks and snack bars. A couple of times Bella passed out on me. Scared the bejesus out of me. Turned out she was just exhausted from fucking; go me. But we learn from our mistakes so plenty of drinks and snacks during our marathon sex sessions. I'd really she didn't do that again, that was scary shit.

I get back to the bedroom and they hadn't moved. Well Bella was moving, she was rocking a little on Jake's lap. Given the wolf recovery time, he was probably hard again. I passed them both drinks and gulped down some of my own. Bella sucked hers down pretty quickly. After a quick clean up with the towel I looked at them together.

Bella lifted herself off Jake and he made a little noise of protest. She kissed him in consolation. "Paul's turn," she told him. I passed him the towel and reached for my girl. I was kneeling on the bed and she pressed herself hard up against me. She kissed me and raked my mouth with her tongue. We rubbed against each other. Damn that felt good.

I spoke, "You enjoyed that." It wasn't a question. She tasted a little like what I suspected Jake must taste like. I didn't really want to go there, so I shut down that train of thought.

"Jake, up there," I jerked my head towards the headboard. He crawled up and lay down on his back, shoving a pillow behind him. Yep he was good to go again.

I gave Bella a hard look and tapped my inner Dominant, "On your knees," I commanded in the Vin voice. She gave out an excited squeak but didn't move fast enough, so I gave her ass a slap. Hey, this was fun.

She crawled up Jake's body; he looked like a kid at Christmas.

I grabbed her hips and waited for a second as I watched them. She did what any red blooded girl would do when there is a big hard cock in her face; she licked it from base to tip. Jake jerked and swore. I am such a bad influence; I will have Jake swearing like a trooper before long. He usually only manages 'shit' or some wimpy shit like that, but now a long low "fuuuck" came out of his mouth. He didn't know what to do with his hands. They were clutching at the sheets beside him. His face looked pained.

I kneaded her ass and pushed her legs apart. I let my hard cock slide along her without entering her. She gave a wriggle and a moan. I did that a couple of times because it felt so good and then I slid into her in one long deep thrust. She grunted and pressed back against me. By now she had Jake in her mouth and was working her head up and down. He had grabbed her hair with one hand. I realized that if I thrust her too hard, she would choke and bite him and that would not be good for anybody, so I held her steady at the hips and thrust myself back and forth.

Every time she moaned Jake echoed it; guess the vibration was running along his cock. He came out with some swear words I didn't now he knew and then his body jerked like he tried to go three ways at once and he exploded into her mouth. She cleaned him up with her tongue. Fuck Jake looked pretty happy before, but now he was positively glowing.

I eased off and reached around to stroke her clit while she finished him off.

She gave a wriggle when she was ready and I reached for her wrists. I held her arms out to the sides like she was crucified, then I lifted her back up against me. It took some strength but we had done this before and she loved being completely in my control. Still buried deep inside I held her, displaying her for Jake. At this angle from behind I could sink into her really deeply. I pistoned into her using my thighs and ass muscles to punch up hard.

Jake swallowed a gulp. It must look pretty cool from where he was. He slowly rose to his knees and bent his face down to her breasts. She let out a deep moan as he took her nipple into his mouth. She twitched a little when his other hand must have gone for her clit. I lost my rhythm a bit when I felt his fingers near my shaft, but I got it back and concentrated on my girl. She was moaning continuously now as I slammed up into her. I came with a guttural grunt. She jerked and shuddered and came with a scream, and then she went limp.

"Fuck, Paul," Jake almost shouted, "She's passed out!"

"Again?" I ask as I let go of her hands and grab her around the waist.

Jake is stunned. "You've fucked her until she passed out before?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah, a couple of times," I try not to sound smug. Truth is it frightens me, but I'm not going to tell_ him_ that.

I lower her to the bed and he sticks a pillow under her head.

"She usually passes out from exhaustion but I guess this one might be over stimulation or some such shit."

"We'll just snuggle in here and she'll rejoin us in a minute or two," I tell him. I try to sound confident. He spoons in behind her and puts his arm around her waist. I take the front half and rub her face and kiss her gently. I lean my head on my arm and watch her. Jake is sniffing her hair. She is always whining about how hot it is sleeping with a werewolf, I reckon two might be worse. Guess Jake is staying for a sleepover; he doesn't look like he is going anywhere.

It takes a few minutes but her eyelashes flutter and then she opens her eyes to see me peering anxiously into her face.

"Welcome back, baby," I croon at her.

"Oh…my…God," she whispers, "We _have_ to do that again."

"Hey," I whine, "I told him it was a one time only deal." Yeah yeah, call me stupid.

"Oh come on, Paul," she begs, "Maybe we could work up to both at once?" she rubs my chest, "You _know_ you want to try that…" She gives me the fucking big brown puppy dog eyes; I can never resist that.

"Double penetration?" Jake asks with awe.

We all stop to think for a second and then the three of us go, "Fuuuuck!"


	22. Extra Waggener wisdom

**Chapter 22: Waggener Wisdom**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: Thanks to furyangoddess for betaing - warning graphic sex - remember children safe sex always**

When I get myself together I eye Jake over Bella's shoulder. "He's still here." I point out the obvious.

"Can he stay? Please?" she begs me – damn, two sets of puppy dog eyes. Fuck.

"You always whine about sweating to death with just me," I grizzle but they have won and they know it. Jake is already snuggling down behind her.

I can smell Jake in my bed and on my woman and while it unsettles me, my inner wolf seems to be okay. That shit is weird. Maybe it is because he is the true alpha? Fucked if I know? Maybe my inner wolf knows that a happy Jake makes a happy Bella and a happy Bella makes a _really_ happy Paul? Ah what the fuckever.

"God Paul we didn't use a condom," he panics.

"Well you were a virgin, I'm clean and if I haven't made her pregnant in a year of fucking the way we do, you aren't going to do it with one shot, plus she is on the pill and she is marked." Guess that about covers it.

"Does marking work like that too?"

"Yeah only wolf pups with your mate."

"Hey," Bella grizzles, "Could you not talk over the top of me? I'm right here."

"We know baby, believe me, we know." We both smirk at her. Jake kisses her shoulder.

Damn if I don't feel a twitch in my cock looking at her. Doubt she would be up for another go round though – maybe later. She beams at me but then leaps out of bed to go to the bathroom. Now this is awkward. Jake and I are lying naked facing each other. I roll onto my back.

"I still can't believe you let that happen," he says and he blushes, "But thank you."

"Temporary," I tell him as I reach for the sheet to cover us. It might soak up some of the sweat too.

"I know," he says but then he panics. "Pack mind?" he asks. We are both lying on our backs now.

"Well if you were _alpha_," I give him a look, "You could keep your own fucking head private, plus if anyone picks a glimpse up from you, they will just think you are having a fantasy about fucking Bella. Me?" I shrug, "No one goes there anymore and if they do, they expect me to have freaky fantasies."

Bella comes back and crawls up between us. She sits for a second and looks at the two of us. "My boys," she says. She kisses me, then Jake and then snuggles down in between us. She has slipped one of my old t shirts on; I love it when she wears my clothes.

I guess I owe her for all those women I fucked before – plus I stole Jake's girl and I still feel guilty about that. Fuck my life.

I fall asleep thinking about it. Thinking? Not something I usually do much of.

We all wake up in a ball of sweat. I tell Jake he will have to scrub himself raw in the shower; ha, payback is a bitch. After showers, Bella cooks breakfast. At breakfast Jake and Bella are so happy. He is leaning against the counter getting whacked with the tongs because he keeps trying to steal the bacon. She has rules about food – no one eats before everything is ready. He should know that, but he keeps playing with her. I sit there and drink my coffee and watch 'em. Yeah they both look happier; fuck me, I hope this works out.

After breakfast Jake heads off with a kiss goodbye from Bella, a nod from me and a spring in his step. She just looks at me after he leaves and shakes her head.

She sits herself down in my lap. "You're a pretty special guy; you know that right?"

"Yeah; they broke the mould, baby."

She thinks for a minute, "He'll have to date to cover up the smell and the attitude change won't he?"

I grin at her, "You always were smart, baby and good with weird."

"This is all part of your cunning plan isn't it Paul?"

I try to look innocent. "What…me?"

She looks at me sideways, "What are you up to?"

"Truthfully? I'm trying to get Jake and Leah together."

"Wow…power couple or what."

"Yeah Sam is still in love with Leah. He will smack down anyone who goes near her. And add in Seth and that girl has no chance of getting laid again, _ever_. The pack might think of Seth as a big puppy, but he's big and hulking to any potential normal guy. Why do you think she has not been dating? Embry and Quil would jump her if they had the guts but fucking Sam scares them all off."

"Holy Crow, does he realize he does it?"

"I'm not sure, but either way, he needs to let her go and Jake is the only one Sam will defer to." I shrug, "It's a long shot but they both need it."

"No," she corrects me, "All four of them need it."

"Four?"

"You have to count Sam and Emily too. Emily stills feels bad for taking her cousin's fiancée and Sam is still in love with Leah and killing himself for dumping her. Leah and Emily were good friends before all this shit hit the fan."

"Yeah, that works."

"And here was me thinking this was all about keeping** me **happy." She kisses me.

"Baaaby, I am always about keeping** you** happy," I tell her.

"Yeah," she beams at me, "Lucky me."

So we make a date with Jake for the next week for a movie night. Should I put fucking inverted commas around that?

Nobody blinks at him staying over night. Billy even made some comment about how glad he was that Jake was getting on better with Bella. I damn near snorted in his face at the thought of how well he 'got on' with Bella.

Hey, maybe I am learning some anti Billy skills too? I actually managed to keep my mouth shut for once without fucking blurting out everything to him.

Now Bella wants to do the threesome thing she _has_ to let me in the back door – yeah – she needs all the preparation she can get; well at least that's what I convinced her. She said she wanted me to do that. Deflower her all over again. So every time we have sex I just ease a couple of fingers into her ass, to get her used to it and relaxed with it. I make sure I use plenty of lube and I finally get that cute butt plug with the tail. And damn it is worth it, she gets so excited, she practically shivers every time I touch her there. Guess she thinks she is being a real dirrty girl now.

She admits that she likes the tail; says it feels cool brushing up against her butt cheeks. Hey I have a tail half the time these days and I think it is pretty cool too.

But first I have to give Jake the tried and true wisdom of Waggener on how to go down on a woman properly. So when he comes over for the movie night, I hand him a beer and spill my years of dedicated research.

**The Waggener guide to going down on a woman:**

Go down on a woman and do it properly and she will_ always _call you back. Not enough guys do it properly, you know?

First off, start with a clean work bench. Get her in the shower if you are worried about it. Then she knows you are clean too. Nothing worse. You can be subtle and clean her up with a quick bit of heavy foreplay, with soap. Chances are she probably won't even notice that's what you're doing. Leave trimming or shaving discussions to a long term relationship. Same with your hands. Nails trimmed and clean, don't want to slice her with a claw.

Do her first; if you've already come, do you care? Probably not – this is entrée not dessert.

Lube can be your friend but women make their own. It's the best indication that she is turned on, no juice, then you aint doing it right so leave the lube for something else. So dip a finger in occasionally to check.

Her whole body is an erogenous zone; kiss and lick her pretty much anywhere and she will like it, unless she is too ticklish. So start licking her pussy by kissing her ankles and work your way up.

Find her clit and use it; every woman is different; all different shapes and sizes of inner and outer lips. Some clits don't show up until she is half way there; sneaky little fuckers. Be gentle and take it slow; small circles, figures of eight, trap it between two fingers whatever; they all work. But don't go there if she is dry. Don't spit on your hand; some don't like that. Use her self made lube. If you over-do the clit stimulation, it has its own little hood that drops down to protect it. She'll let you know if it is too much.

If she's warmed up you can try sucking on the clit. Again, some don't like it so be gentle until you know what she prefers. But be careful with teeth and NEVER blow into her vagina. That shit is dangerous. You can use your fingers while you are licking her clit. Or your nose; give her an Eskimo kiss, she will _never_ forget.

Find the G spot – I think the easiest way to find it is the other side of her clit; on the inside. Use two fingers and curl them up into a 'come here' shape and believe me you will know when you hit it right.

Use your tongue to fuck her. Stiffen your tongue and stick it deep into her. Wiggle the tip around or move your head and neck back and forth so that your tongue is "fucking" her. Make sure you are in a comfortable position or your whole fucking neck cramps up.

"Okay," I tell him as I gulp down the last of my beer, "guess that covers everything."

"Now all you need is a willing woman," I raise my voice, "Bella!"

"What?" she shouts from the laundry.

"Baby, come here."

Jake is blushing like a fire hydrant.

"In a minute," she shouts back.

She isn't coming. I go to check out what the delay is. I stick my head in the laundry door.

"Hey," I say to her, "Jake needs help with the noble art of pussy eating."

"Fuck Paul, are you serious?" she nearly dropped the bottle of whatever she has in her hand. "Are you alright with this; really?"

I point at her, "Yeah but after the full threesome, he is_ out _of my bed." I frown, "that was the deal." She tried to make a Girl Scout sign or some such shit. "Don't fuck with me, Swan; you were never a girl guide."

She tucks herself into my chest and kisses the bit she can reach. "I love you Paul."

"Yeah, I know." I bend down and kiss the top of her head. "Jake?"

Jake appears in the hallway, he is still blushing. "Oh what movies did we watch?" I ask him, "For the cover story."

"Bourne series?"

"Cool, you okay with that Bella?" she nods. So we head for the bedroom.

We are still a bit awkward with each other, not sure I really want to get fucking comfortable with this situation anyway.

So Jake and I sandwich her between us and go to work undressing her. I keep talking, the sound of my voice relaxes her; she knows I am here and I wont let anyone hurt her.

I sit with my back against the pillows and pull her onto me on the bed. She is lying with her back on my chest and her arms resting on my knees; a Paul armchair. Jake has his face between her knees. He's got that fucking kid at Christmas look on his face again. He leans his cheek against the inside of her knee and inhales; long and slow. She shivers. His hands are running up and down her legs.

I whisper in her ear, "look at him…he is just salivating at the thought of licking you out baby." She shivers again. Jake kisses her knee and gives her this smouldering look. He's a natural, I swear. He is going to be beating off fucking women with a stick soon enough. He starts kissing up one thigh then swaps to the other leg. Bella's breath hitches when he skips the middle part. He does it again, but oh so slowly. I can smell how excited she is.

She is squirming; pushing her hips trying to get him to the right place.

"He knows where he is going baby…he'll get there in his own good time."

She meets his eyes again as he runs his tongue over his top lip. She whimpers, then she jolts, he has slipped a finger inside her. Good boy, he remembers the lesson. Then he brings his face down to her centre and she squirms. Damn that squishes my cock against her back so I shift a bit to try and get comfortable. I reach around to play with her nipples.

Jake is licking away and she starts moaning and pressing herself against his face.

I feel fucking left out after too many minutes of this. "Tell me what he is doing baby; tell me how it feels."

"Oh God," she moans, "his tongue is…oh yes…is circling my…oh that's it… clit and oohhh… his fingers…oh yes…his fingers are pumping in and out of me."

"Curl 'em Jake"

He doesn't answer; I guess he has a fucking mouth full, but he must do it because Bella lets out a long low moan and then she reaches for his head with both hands. She tries to pull him closer; as if he could get any fucking closer? He growls and that pushes her over the edge; her back arches and she shudders. She manages a long "Oh …God…" before her whole body seems to exhale and she collapses back on me.

I hold her and kiss up and down her neck for a second. Jake lifts his head and wipes his hand down his face. I pull Bella by the hips back against my straining cock.

"Come here baby," I tell her. Jake reaches for her and I growl at him. I actually fucking growled at him! He lifted his hands in a surrender gesture and backed off. Don't care if he goes and whacks off in the bathroom, but I am finishing this with my girl.

Bella turns around and straddles me.

"Play nice," she tells me.

"Fuck it, Bella; he has plenty of time with you."

"Paul," she frowns, "You get me every day." She kisses me seductively. "And you'll get me back all to yourself, soon enough." I might have lost whatever the hell else she said because she put her hands on my shoulders and lifted herself onto my cock. Damn that feels good.

"Jake?" she called out softly. Bloody woman has me well under control. He comes back into the room quietly and with his cock still hard. She waves at him and he approaches the bed.

"He won't bite. Will you Paul?"

"Sorry Jake," I mumble. Fuck knows why, I just want to fuck my woman on my own. Serves me right, this was partly my stupid fucking idea anyway. I sigh.

She holds my face and kisses me and grinds herself onto me. Damn...she does this lift and twist move that usually gets my attention. But then she lifts herself off me and sticks her ass in Jake's direction. I whine for a second but she drops her head and takes my whole cock into her mouth and I decide this is not so bad after all.

I shut my eyes and groan so I can't see what Jake is doing but he must have slipped into her because I can feel her body tense up. I slip out of her mouth as she lets out a gasp.

"Don't pull her, Jake, she'll gag. Pull yourself back and forth."

"Got it," he grunts.

Jake is a bit gentler than me. He goes slower and takes his time. Every moan she makes vibrates down my cock; damn that feels good. I hold her head just in case Jake shoves her too hard. I love the feel of her hair; she can rub me all over with that stuff and I would be happy; well maybe not _completel_y happy, but I love the feel of her hair around my groin while she sucks me off. It rubs across my skin like fucking silk.

Jake's hands are rubbing along her spine and she is moaning. She does the tongue swirl around the head thing and gives me a touch of teeth around the top; careful baby. Pity she can't use both her hands but the moaning vibration is almost making up for it. She blows out and sucks back hard, oh yeah, just like that baby.

"Oh yeah…do that…fuck… again." Jake eases off for a second, must realize I am close to popping.

She does and I jet down her throat. She swallows it all; that's my girl. She raises her head and gives me a big smile. Then Jake starts moving again and whatever he did made her fucking eyes cross. She groans and I see his hands slide around the front of her and lock on to the front of her shoulders. Then he just rams her onto him. Her tits bounce with each thrust; her head arches back and she grunts too. The sound of slapping flesh and grunting fills the room. Fuck that is hot. She almost screams and Jake spasms and his own back arches lifting her up a little.

She falls forward onto me with a pussy fart noise and Jake falls back, just as well, he would have fucking crushed us both.

"Hey baby, you didn't pass out this time."

She beams at me. "I think I will just stay here for a minute," she mumbles and snuggles down on my chest. Jake throws himself down next to us. Lucky we don't have a fucking waterbed; we would have both shot off the other side. But the bed has other ideas; it makes an ominous creaking noise and then jolts down onto the floor with a crash. We fall together in a pile of limbs giggling like loons.

"At least it waited until we were finished," sniggered Jake and we all laugh.

FF_2154210_ - 11/08/2010 07:51:00 PM


	23. Extra The road less travelled

**Chapter 23: the road less travelled**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fanfiction._

**AN: Thanks to Bansidhe for betaing - warning graphic sex - threesome - remember children safe sex always**

We drive up to Port Angeles to buy a new bed. There is a bit more of a range of stores up there. Jake decides to come along for the ride and check out some car parts store and we make plans to meet up for lunch. After a couple of shops I am just starving, so I tell Bella I will meet her in the next shop after grabbing some food. I wolf down my burger and trot back to my girl. I send Jake a text to tell him where we are.

As I come in the door of the shop, I can hear this smarmy voiced salesman talking. His voice has dropped into that low fuck-me register and I almost let out a fucking growl. He is touching her on the shoulder. She still has no idea how guys react to her. Seriously; this woman attracts supernatural beings like flies and this guy thinks he has a chance? And just because she is buying a bed, does he think she wants _him_ to sleep in it?

She is standing, looking at a cast iron bed.

"Does it come in California king size? I like lots of room," she adds.

"Yes I believe so, but I could check if there is one in stock for you." He is being all kinds of helpful. But he is touching her again.

"Thank you, I'd like that," and she beams at him. I know she is just thinking about a new bed, but poor old what his name doesn't know that. He smiles right back at her and leans towards her.

He turns to go check the records and I start towards Bella. I give him a glare as he walks to the desk. I look down at his name tag; it's a long way down for me.

"Brad," I state. I think he gets the message, but just to confirm it I pull Bella into a hot and heavy kiss and slide my hands down to her ass. I whisper in her ear "Baby, I don't care where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home, but Brad doesn't seem like your type."

She just giggles at me. "You know who my type is," she says. That's my girl.

"What do you think of this one?" she asks, waving at the bed.

"Cast iron looks solid." I put a hand around a pole and give it a shake. "No foot board." But it has short posts at the bottom corners. I hate not being able to stretch my legs out and those stupid foot boards get in the way. "I like the height." It is a good way off the ground.

Brad has come back to tell us, "There is one in stock and it has a matching bench the same width."

I look at him like he is a cockroach and he starts to look nervous.

"A bench... you know a backless seat. You place it at the end of the bed; you know to sit on to put your shoes on..." The poor guy is sweating and struggling by this stage. He has been caught out flirting with my girl and he knows that I know. His armpits are getting damper by the minute. And then the icing on the fucking cake walks in the door; Jake, all 6ft 7 of him. He really has seemed to get bigger in the last month. I reckon he must be damn close to stepping up to alpha. The poor bed salesman was intimidated enough by me, but Jake comes right up to Bella and gives her a smacking kiss on the lips. "Hey Bells," he says.

It is freaking obvious to me that these two are more than close because she slips her arm down his back and her hand rests on the top of his ass. Poor Brad the salesman is confused now. He gives me a look. I don't blink.

"Hey Jake," I catch his attention. "What do you reckon the weight limit is on this bench?"

"Weight limit?" repeats Brad cluelessly.

Jake leans over and gives it a push and all the muscles in his shoulders flex. Brad wipes a bead of sweat off his brow.

Then Jake pulls the bench away from the foot of the bed and sits astride it. He looks at me and raises his eyebrows.

"That might work," I say.

Bella has no clue what we are debating, but I can see Jake and I are on the same page. The bench looks like an excellent way to get all the legs out of the picture.

She looks at him and me and then the light dawns and she blushes. God, I love that woman. She goes bright red. But being Bella, her next question just kills me.

"Is the cover washable?" she asks Brad. Jake and I both snort.

The poor guy nearly has a cow. His mouth hangs open for a minute before he pulls himself together and tells her it is removable and machine washable.

But then Jake seals the deal by asking for a discount. Brad is seriously confused by now and then we really push him by arguing in front of him about who is going to pay for it. It is a continuation of the dispute from the car. Jake thinks he ought to contribute and Bella won't let him. I don't really think he ought to contribute either; if all goes well he only gets one go in this bed and then he is gone. Damned if Jacob Black owns part of _my_ bed.

"Jake, seriously man, let it go," I tell him and I give him a head nod towards Brad who has a look on his face like he is trying to do the math. He is looking at tiny Bella and the two of us and he just can't work it out.

"Well if we can get a discount, I will pay for the bench." Jake is determined. "Consider it a house warming present."

I shrug and hold up my hands in surrender. Then Jake turns his beaming smile and super height onto poor Brad, who is probably regretting getting out of bed this morning. By the time we leave the store, everything is arranged. We got quite a discount in the end, can't think why.

Brad helps us out by giving us the address of the best buffet in town. Jake and I did okay with the food before they asked us to leave. We point out that Bella ate nothing but they assure us that it didn't balance out. Why on earth do they offer an 'all you can eat buffet' if they don't want you to eat it all? Fuckers.

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The bed and bench were delivered in a couple of days and Bella was seriously excited by it all. I just laughed at her. We had been working on getting her used to sex in the 'road less travelled'. Finally managed it the week before and it was amazing.

Took me back to when she first appeared in my living room and asked me to fuck her. I dreamed of it then, but the reality? Wow.

See normal sex is all about wetness and the woman has some control, but anal sex? It is all about tightness, friction and loss of control for the woman. Maybe that's why some don't like it so much. But the feeling is unlike anything else. That muscle has a mind of its own and it clings and pulls. To me, it feels like being milked; a rhythmic squeezing that you just don't get anywhere else. Bella gets off on the idea that it just feels 'naughty' and forbidden I suppose. Whatever, after the way she came, I reckon it will be on our menu for a while. She damn near passed out on me again.

So that weekend Jake comes over on Friday night. He is all sad puppy dog eyes, sitting on the lounge picking at the label on his beer.

"Oh c'mon man; this was the deal," I remind him. "Now you have to get your own girl, remember?"

He sighs. "Yeah, I remember the deal. I've got way more than you intended anyway." He gives me a sly grin. "Maybe she will change your mind…?"

"No way!" I am serious. "She gave me a girl scout promise," I tell him.

"What the fuck? Bella was never a girl scout," he says. I laugh.

"So… I am taking a girl to the movies on Saturday night."

I give him one of those boy punches in the shoulder. "Way to go Jakey boy."

"You know you might be right, Leah was there when Stacey rang back and she got really weird for a while."

"Yeah? She's probably just pissed that you are moving on from Bella. I reckon she was hoping you would stay as sad and lonely as she is. So you could be a club. I mean Sam and Emily imprinting was fucking years ago now and she is still wallowing. I get that it is hard for her to have it shoved in her face all the time, but it's not like they could help it."

"Yeah I know, but remember I was pretty pissed when you imprinted on Bella?"

I snort. "I remember feeling sorry for you. Thought I heard your heart break."

"Seriously?" he asks. "I'd just beaten you to a pulp."

We both look down and start fiddling with our beer labels. Neither of us is really taking much notice as Bella walks past and locks the front door. I am half watching her and suddenly realize as I see her walk up the hall that she is naked. Jake and I leap to our feet and run as she heads for the bedroom. We get jammed for a second in the doorway but I break through first. Damned if he is beating me into that room. She turns and tries to look all pouty; pretty hard given she is naked.

"Baby, we weren't ignoring you," I apologize as I reach for her face. "Just having a talk." I kiss her. "Jake's got a date tomorrow night." It loses some emphasis as he is tearing his clothes off behind me; he really doesn't look like a man who is seeing a different girl tomorrow.

"Hey that's great," she says and holds out her arms to him. He latches on to her face and lifts her up in one of his trademark hugs. I go to find the lube and get a damp towel for clean up. I chuck it on the side-table. She has her legs wrapped around his waist when I get back. He has one hand under her butt and the other on the back of her head; holding her in the kiss. I start getting undressed too.

I pull the bench out into the room. This should work, if not I suppose I can still use it to put my shoes on. Like_ I _ever wear shoes; okay Bella can use it to put her shoes on.

"Jake, let's just see if the bench will work. I reckon your legs might be too long to get your knees out of the way." He straddles it and sits with Bella still held to his face. I slide up behind her and run my hands up and down her back. No, too many knees. I slap him on the shoulder. "Bed, you're bottom," I tell him. He pulls away from her for a second and she is kissing down his neck. Guess this a farewell for them both. I sigh. He steps over the bench.

He beams at her and drops her to the floor. She doesn't need any preparation; she smells so excited. He lies back on the pillows and she climbs onto him. It always amuses me that Bella can be really co-ordinated when she wants to be. Jake doesn't need any preparation either. She clambers onto him and he sighs as she sinks onto his cock. His hands hold her at the waist and move her gently back and forth.

I climb onto the bed behind them and Jake opens his legs wider so that I can kneel between them. Yeah, that'll work. It also means I am driving the whole shebang.

Crouched on him the way she is with her legs up his sides and her feet tucked into his hips, she leans forward to kiss him and pops her ass up in the air. I grab the lube and pour some down her crack. She shivers. I run my other hand up and down her spine. I can feel her relax under me and she lies down on Jake's chest. He rubs her as well and he is talking to her and stroking her hair. Between the two of us, she is as relaxed as we can make her.

I slip one finger against her rosebud and she shivers, but lets me in. After adding more lube, I add a second finger. I scissor them a bit to keep the muscle open and add some more lube. I am probably overdoing it, but I worry about her you know? After a bit of work it relaxes and I lube myself up and hold my cock against the tight opening.

"Breathe baby," I tell her. She pants a little and I push against her opening. "Fuck you're so tight." I force myself to breathe too. I run up her spine and Jake pulls her into a searing kiss and distracts her enough for me to push the head of my cock in. We both moan; man that feels amazing. I wait for a minute for the muscle to adjust. Slowly I push in a little further. We both moan again. Got to time it with the muscle spasm. But as I push in further I suddenly realize I can feel Jake's cock inside her. We are fucking brushing up against each other inside my girl; that is just too weird. We look at each other over her shoulder and then we look away. Bella is panting.

"More… Paul," she instructs and I push in a little further. She bears down on me and with a final thrust I am in to the hilt; balls deep just like I imagined. We are all frozen in place and then Bella manages to say, "Somebody move."

She sounds like she is on the edge; desperate. "So full…" she moans.

I pull back and then push forward and Jake makes a deep long "…holy fuck." I pull Bella up a little and the change of angle makes us all groan. Then we kind of get a rhythm; as I pull her onto me he slides out and vice versa. I set the pace because Jake is bottoming, but he is lifting his hips into her. A sheen of sweat covers us all.

She started just muttering, "Oh god…oh god…oh god…" She is tossing her head back and forth.

As I got closer to coming, I lost the rhythm and Jake and I both stroked into her at the same time. She just tensed up, her back arched, her head fell back and her whole body clenched. "Fuck, that's so good," I groaned and I thrust into her hard. She came, her mouth open like she was screaming, but it was soundless. Weirdest thing. My cock felt like a hand grabbed it and I lost it. She took me with her in a chain reaction.

Jake lets out a noise and I can feel him move inside her. He had his hands on her hips and he pulled her down hard onto us both and we shout as we all came together.

She fell onto his chest and I was leaning on her back.

We all lay there, sweating and breathing hard. Jake was panting, but none of us could move.

"Bells?" Jake sounded worried, "Are you okay?"

He looked at me over her back. "She's crying," he explained.

I pulled out and lifted her off him. She just shook her head and kept crying. "Did we hurt you, baby?" She shook her head.

We snuggled down with her in between us. I cleaned her up with the towel and rubbed her back and Jake was brushing her cheeks with his thumbs; wiping away her tears. We were both murmuring to her.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out so we just hugged her between us and kept rubbing her all over. I could hear her heart pounding. It took her ages to get herself back together.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "That was too intense."

"Yeah," agreed Jake in a heartfelt whisper, "and playing light sabres with Paul inside you was really weird."

She giggled and then we all started to laugh.

I went to get drinks for everyone and we lay in bed together and drank them; chatting about pack stuff and winding down. Jake kept stroking her hair and she was running her hand up and down my thigh.

Bella looked down the end of the bed. "We didn't even use the bench," she said. She sounded disappointed.

I climb out of the bed. "I'm going to have a shower. Why don't you and Jake christen the bench while I am at it." They both gave me a look of amazement. I point at them both. "Last time," I tell them, before I go for a long hot shower. I read in some baby magazine at the dentists one time about a strategy when you need a shower and the baby is crying. Stick a shower cap on your head and stand under the shower. I feel like a prize idiot but it works; I can't hear a thing. I give them a good half hour and when I start to prune up I turn the water off. It's all quiet. I brush my teeth and head back to the bedroom.

I stand in the doorway and look at them. They've fallen asleep with their heads together on the pillow. Guess it has been a pretty intense night. I felt a shiver of doubt at seeing them so close, but climb into bed behind Bella. She is sound asleep but the minute I get in there, she rolls over and reaches for me. I tuck her under my arm and kiss her on the forehead. Her arm wraps around my waist and she makes a little noise as she shifts her head to get comfortable. That clenching around my heart releases and I know that we are good.

-The end-

**AN: the adventures of the pack continue after this in: 'Where's my happy ever after?' **

**That story follows Jake and Leah's story and can be found here:**

**fanfiction(dot)net/s/6481433/1/Wheres_my_happy_ever_after**

**There is also an outtake of this chapter, finally written after a lot of nagging from the fans. It's called 'As easy as dreaming.'**

**fanfiction(dot)net/s/6601550/1/As_easy_as_Dreaming**

**There are more after that and the links are at the end of the last chapter.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


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